Breaking Dawn Till Dusk
by bella1309
Summary: Chapter One! Edward and Bella have been married for 3 months, everything is going according to plan - until some unexpected news changes their lives, and those around them.
1. Chapter 1

Edward's POV: Phone Call

Three months into my marriage and fourteen weeks into my first semester of law school, I was blissfully happy with one and rapidly beginning to regret the other. Medical school had stimulated my brain, challenged me time and time again. A true interest in the field, and of course a real longing to follow in the courageous and hardworking footsteps of Carlisle, had got me through, not once but twice. I had come to the bitter realisation many years ago that I was not capable of practising medicine – studying it would have to be enough. But times change, and life constantly brings with it new experiences and challenges. I was beginning to wonder if the dream of actually practising as a doctor was within reach. In the past two years, my tolerance of blood and my self control had improved beyond belief. Bella becoming a part of my life – the most important and loving part – was the reason.

Dr Edward Cullen …… it certainly had a ring to it! Carlisle could easily mentor me through the practical aspects, just as I had mentored him through the theoretical side of things for many years now. Washington State offered a medical degree …. third time around I was guaranteed high distinctions in every subject ……… why was I hesitating? What was stopping me, for heaven's sake! I had all the time in the world, didn't I? Besides, the law was so damned boring!

I glanced at my watch as the professor's voice droned on and on. Would this never end? Were there really people out there that dreamed of a career in litigation? I pitied them. At last it was two o'clock, and as soon as the lecturer had left the room I snatched the cell phone out of my jacket pocket and flipped it open. I hit "7" on speed dial and listened as the phone rang 190 kilometres away in Newton's Outdoors Sporting Goods. After several rings the phone was answered by Karen Newton's youthful and polite voice, bringing forth a distasteful and unwelcoming image of her heavily made up face and her bottle-blonde immaculate hairdo.

"Newton's Sporting Goods, may I help you?"

"Hello Mrs Newton, it's Edward here", I fought to keep the grimace out of my voice. "Could I have a quick word with Bella, if she's not serving?"

"Well! Edward …. hello!" she exclaimed. "Didn't she call you? Honestly, she's so vague at times …. such a darling, really. I would have thought she'd got in touch with you".

"About what?" I was confused and somewhat impatient. Karen Newton often tested the limits of my patience.

"About going home", she replied. "She was dreadfully pale this morning, and just before lunch she nearly passed out! If it hadn't been for my Mike …….well I don't know what would have happened. He caught her just before she hit the floor! I told him to drop her home and make sure she got to bed all right". Her voice dropped to a hesitant whisper. "Not that it's any of my business, of course, but there isn't a chance that she could be ……. well …… expecting, is there?"

I gripped the cell phone tightly in my hand and fought down the sudden panic that always accompanied any news about Bella being hurt or suffering in any way. It was a wonder, sometimes, that she managed to make it through an entire day without some type of injury. "Danger magnet" was an immense understatement to anyone familiar with Bella and her endearing clumsiness.

"No, no chance of that, Mrs Newton", I responded briskly. "I'll catch up with her at home – please thank Mike for me".

"Well, of course I will! Its just that I've seen so many expectant mothers …….". I ended the phone call, too impatient to indulge in her latest theory. I had little time for people so engrossed in gossip that they allowed it to rule their existence, and I couldn't help wondering exactly how long it would take before the entire population of Forks was informed of the Cullens' "impending parenthood". I immediately pressed "1" on my speed dial and waited, growing more concerned by the second, as Bella's cell phone rang out. I walked quickly to where I had parked the volvo, jumping into the driver's seat and gunning the engine. I fought back the anxiety crawling its way up from my stomach to my throat, turning the car for home and pressing the accelerator to the floor.

"Bella?", I called loudly as I closed the front door behind me. I raced up the staircase, straining to hear her reply but only encountering an ominous silence. The door to our bedroom was closed, and without hesitating I pushed it open, fearing the worst as I always seemed to do when it came to my beautiful and somewhat delightfully accident-prone Bella.

She was in bed, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I moved towards her. Curled on her side, she lay on top of the covers, her knees pressed up towards her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around her abdomen. Her pallor was as pale as I had ever seen it, dark circles visible beneath her eyes, and the way she clutched at her stomach immediately led me to believe that she was in some kind of pain. I knew from experience that her monthly period always left her low on iron levels, and sometimes wracked her body with debilitating cramps, and this was the conclusion I came to as I sat beside her on the bed and gently cupped her pale face in my large hand, managing a smile as she opened her eyes and looked up at me, a mixture of confusion and relief in her expression.

"Edward? I thought you had lectures all afternoon", she spoke softly and I shrugged as my fingers curled protectively around hers.

"I think I can keep up", I told her and pressed my lips gently against her clenched hand. What's wrong, sweetheart? What can I do to help?"

"Nothing", she shook her head slightly. "I'm just ….. tired, I guess".

Bella's delicious scent was always stronger during those four to five days each month when she was having her period, but I was surprised to discover, as I bent over her, that this particular scent I had been expecting was absent. I kissed her lips softly, and was taken back when I saw what looked to be fear in her eyes as I met her gaze.

"Tell me", I encouraged her gently. "Is it cramps?"

She nodded slowly, and I took both of her hands in mine and pulled them away from her stomach. "Straighten out your legs", I told her and she did so obediently, uncurling her body and moving onto her back. Silently I unbuttoned her hipster jeans and pulled down the short zipper. I placed my cool hand onto her flat abdomen and began to rub in a firm but gentle circular motion, willing her body to relax under my touch. As I caressed her I watched her pale face, wondering if it was just my imagination or did it look thinner to me than usual. Had she lost weight or was I merely reacting because she all of a sudden appeared even more vulnerable to me than she normally did?

"Bella". I spoke softly. "Did you eat today? You missed breakfast, remember? What did you have for lunch?"

There was a full minute's silence before she replied. "I wasn't hungry".

"So you last ate when?" I tried to keep the frustration out of my voice, but by the look of guilt on Bella's face I assumed I had failed dismally.

"Edward …. don't …."

"When did you eat?" My left hand continued its gentle caresses whilst my voice unintentionally hardened. "Dammit Bella, no wonder you're passing out! Why aren't you looking after yourself?"

"I am. I just ……" she took a deep breath. "I still feel a little queasy from that flu last week. I'll eat when I'm hungry, Edward, I promise".

I sighed as I pressed my lips against her warm forehead. "I'll heat up some of that chicken soup in the fridge. Esme made up a gallon of it for you and there's still plenty left. Give me ten minutes and I'll bring some up with a slice of toast, and if you don't eat every damned spoonful I'll call Esme and tell her you can't stand her cooking. Oh, and I think you should know, you've got Karen Newton knitting baby bootees in between serving customers". I expected a smile, and instead was shocked when she squeezed her eyes shut tightly and pulled away from my hands. She was breathing in and out quickly, and what little colour had been in her face drained away completely.

"Bella? What …….. ?"

Without a word she jumped off the bed and rushed towards the bathroom, her hand clamped tightly across her mouth. Seconds later I heard the unmistakable sound of retching. I followed her, pushing the bathroom door open slowly and stepping inside. Bella was on her knees beside the toilet, her hands clutched tightly around the seat, her dark hair covering her ashen face, looking as if she was steadily losing an ongoing battle to hold onto her consciousness. I noticed that the only thing she was bringing up was bile; there was obviously nothing in her stomach.

I knelt down behind her and pulled her gently up against me, supporting her weight. She offered no resistance, as weak as she was, and leaned back against me. There was a fresh sheen of perspiration on her forehead and her eyes were tightly closed. The handtowel was within easy reach and I grabbed it, rinsing it briefly under the cold tap with one hand whilst I kept a firm hold on Bella with the other. I wiped her hot, flushed face, folding the towel and then pressing it against the back of her neck. "I'm sorry", she whispered as I pushed the damp hair away from her brow.

"For what?" I spoke soothingly.

"I didn't vomit on you, did I?"

"No", I managed a smile. "You missed me entirely. Just relax, okay? I'm going to take you back to bed. You need to sleep". I picked her up easily in my arms and carried her through to our bedroom. I tucked her in and then sat beside her, my fingers brushing gently against her cheek. Bella's eyes were closed, her breathing even although her face was still pale and drawn. Her fingers clutched my other hand and I swallowed, my throat tight with emotion. "I'll stay home tomorrow", I whispered as her eyes closed. "I'm not leaving you alone".

Her eyes struggled to open. "No, Edward, I'm okay! Please, please go on your trip. Promise me, okay?"

"Let's see how you are in the morning", I sighed, and bent down to touch my lips against hers. "I love you, Bella. Sleep well now".


	2. Chapter 2

Bella's POV: Nightmare

I tried, I really did. Dozing fitfully was probably the most I achieved that night – sleep, which I knew I needed desperately, continued to elude me.

I was aware of Edward's arms around me, was soothed by his hands making slow and gentle circles on my abdomen and his lips resting upon my temple. I was comforted by his very presence, as had always been the case during the past two years of my life. But my mind seemed to focus only on one thing; that relentless image causing my stomach to cramp painfully. Two blue lines blazing across the small window of the home pregnancy test I had purchased only the week before from the pharmacy in Port Angeles; obviously I had not been brazen or foolish enough to visit Forks' one and only drug store. The word would have spread like wildfire within hours. A positive result so vividly clear - dispelling any doubts I may still have desperately held onto that all of these ominous symptoms were merely a coincidence. I had stared, stunned beyond belief, as if maintaining eye contact would somehow miraculously make those lines go away. How? How could this have happened? How many times had I been told – from Edward, from Alice and Rosalie – that this was simply beyond impossible. Vampires could not have babies!

"_But you're not a vampire, Bella", a small but persistent voice spoke in my head. "Not yet, anyway"._

But Edward was! And had been for over ninety years! How could human sperm possibly survive inside a vampire's body for that long?

I wanted to talk to Edward, to share this with him. But – I didn't know how to start. It was a topic we had never discussed because it had never been a possibility. Having a family was something I had turned my back on when I had chosen Edward as my partner for eternity. I had always considered it a small price to pay for what I was gaining. Therefore I had absolutely no idea how Edward felt about babies, about children, about being a father.

And, of course, there was something else to think about. If I decided to go through with this pregnancy, my plans to become a vampire and to become a true Cullen would have to be postponed; for how long I had no idea. Could I be a mother and a vampire at the same time, or would my child be forever in danger of me losing control and ………..

I shuddered uncontrollably, sick with fear, and felt Edward's arms immediately tighten around me. "I'm here, my love. There's nothing to worry about. Try to sleep now". His voice was soothing in my ear and I held back the tears with an enormous effort. I had no idea what to do, or how to ask anybody for advice. For the first time in a very long while, I felt desperately alone.

I was in a darkened room, dimly lit by a small bedside lamp. It was a room that I did not recognise, although it was furnished with items that were familiar to me – the king-sized bed I shared with Edward, the built-in closet, even my very own comfortable pillow that I loved was there. Yet this bedroom was in another house, a strange house that did not offer me any feelings of safety or security. I was uneasy as I glanced around, trying desperately to familiarise myself with where I was and how I had got there.

My head turned sharply as the door to this unwelcoming room opened. I breathed a sigh of relief as Edward stepped in, the anxiety that had begun to creep up from my stomach to my throat instantly disappearing at the sight of my beautiful, perfect angel.

"I don't know where I am", I managed a shaky laugh. "How did all our stuff get here? What is this place?"

Edward was silent as he walked up to me, and the tentative smile that I had managed to greet him with slowly disappeared as the light from the lamp washed over his face, revealing a dangerous fury in his topaz eyes that I recognised, that I had seen before; however, this murderous anger in the past had never been directed towards me. This was a first.

"E .. Edward?" My throat closed with fear.

"What did you do?" At the speed of light, his hand shot out and gripped my wrist cruelly. His eyes blazed into mine, and his lips were pulled back in a grimace of intense anger. "Dammit, Bella – _what did you do!!_"

"I don't ….." My voice broke off, my heart hammering within my chest as I stared up at him. For the first time in my life, I was terrified of him.

"Yes, you do!" His hot breath exploded over me as he brought his face down towards mine, only inches apart. "How dare you do this to me! How dare you ruin my life!!"

My eyes filled with tears, and I struggled to hold them back. I knew now what he was talking about, and I tried to take a breath in order to fill my lungs with air – it felt as if there was an immense weight on my chest, crushing me. "Edward, I'm sorry ….. I didn't mean ……."

"You're sorry?" His harsh laugh mocked me. "That's really not very helpful, is it Bella! I don't want to hear your useless apologies; I want to know what you're going to do to fix this!" His hand tightened painfully around my wrist and I bit back a cry. "I want to know _right now, _Bella!"

"Edward, please .. you're hurting me!"

"Get rid of this child, Bella!", he spoke through gritted teeth. "I'll ask Carlisle to give me a name and a phone number, and you are to contact this person immediately and deal with this problem! I will not have my life destroyed by your carelessness!"

"I wasn't careless, Edward! You told me this couldn't happen …… you told me it was impossible!" The tears ran unheeded down my cheeks, but the death-like grip on my wrist did not ease up. His face twisted into a mask of hatred as I spoke and I had to turn away, unable to watch as his fury only escalated.

"This is my fault? Is that what you're saying? I don't believe this!!" He roared at me as I tried in vain to pull my aching wrist from his cruel fingers. "You did this on purpose – you know you did! You knew very well this would put an end to your transformation plans! Well, you didn't have to go to these extreme lengths, Bella! You could have been honest with me instead and simply _told _me you no longer wished to be a part of my world".

"Edward, please believe me – I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I sobbed, heartbroken at his words. "Please don't leave me, please don't go! I'm so sorry, Edward, I'm so sorry …….."

"Shhhhhh. I'm here, sweetheart, right here. I'm not going anywhere". His familiar, comforting arms were wrapped tightly around me, and his hand stroked my hair away from my hot, flushed face. He no longer sounded angry; instead he sounded like – _Edward_! My head was pressed against his hard chest, and I realised that I had soaked his shirt with my tears. Another strange thing – my wrist had stopped aching! Slowly and reluctantly, I pulled away from Edward and glanced around the room in confusion. I was in bed, in my own familiar bedroom, and Edward was sitting beside me, his eyes full of worry as he took in the fear that must still be showing on my face. And then it hit me. _I had been dreaming!_

"It was just a dream!" The relief that came with that knowledge was overpowering, and the tears began to flow again. Edward pulled me closer, one hand making slow and soothing circles on my back.

"That's one word for it", he spoke softly. "I think the word 'nightmare' however might be much more appropriate". He sighed heavily. "Bella, you were terrified. I couldn't wake you up – you just kept screaming 'I'm sorry' over and over again". There was anguish in his eyes as they met mine. "Sweetheart, what were you dreaming about? What had you so frightened? Can you tell me about it?"

"No". I shook my head quickly. "I ….I can't talk about it right now. I don't want to talk about it. Just ……..just keep holding me, okay?"

"Absolutely". Edward pressed his lips against the top of my head as I hid my face against his chest again. "I'll be right here, Bella. Go to sleep now, and dream of something calm and peaceful – our meadow, perhaps?" There was the sound of a smile in his voice and I closed my eyes, holding onto him tightly as I tried to push the memory of the nightmare out of my mind. It had been so vivid …… so real! And yet, the moment Edward had spoken to me in that terrifyingly furious tone I should have known ….. should have realised immediately that this could not possibly be reality. Edward could never, ever bring himself to speak to me that way, to utter such heartbreaking words. The memory of his fierce grip on my wrist and the accompanying pain caused me to shudder against his chest and he pulled away slightly, searching my face with his eyes.

"Bella, please talk to me". His voice was pleading. "You're shaking like a leaf – tell me what it is that's upset you. What were you dreaming about?"

How could I possibly tell him – even begin to try to explain – that he had been hurting me beyond belief. With his hand, clenching my wrist with his hard and brutal fingers, but even worse with his words – unforgettable, cruel words that had torn at my insides. A tiny, minute part of Bella wanted to convince me, I knew, that my dream had been a premonition – a taste of what was to come when I somehow, eventually told Edward my news. I wanted to grab that small part of myself and throttle it, squeeze the life out of it until it was dead and gone. I wanted to believe with all of my heart and soul that this news was something Edward would embrace, with wonder and excitement and acknowledgement that this could only be a miracle – nothing less. I wanted to believe – more than anything else in this world – but I couldn't.

"Bella?"

"Nothing" I muttered as my fingers clutched his shirt tightly, desperately. "Just …. a dream. It didn't mean anything".

"Such an abysmal liar" he sighed. His hands were gentle as they stroked my hair – such a contrast to the frightening violence of my nightmare – and even though I thought it impossible, I eventually slipped into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

3. Bella's POV: Alone

The morning brought with it heavy storm clouds, an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion, and a stomach-turning nausea that threatened to keep me chained to the toilet for hours, if not days. The clouds were expected – when you lived in Forks it was part of the territory. The exhaustion I could deal with – a few more hours in bed would do me no harm whatsoever, considering the restless night I had just endured. The nausea, however, was a problem that needed to be dealt with until Edward had safely left the house for his overnight trip. Somehow I would have to suppress the almost overpowering urge to vomit or else Edward would cancel his plans, without a doubt. He would insist on staying with me, and although I longed for his presence, his comforting arms and soothing words, I knew deep down in my heart that I needed these two days to think, to really think through the situation I had somehow got myself into. Without outside influences, without Edward's views and opinions, I had to make a decision about the future. Our future. Selfishly I wanted him to stay with me – it hurt so much when he went away. It never failed to throw up memories in my face, devastating memories of when he had left the year before, leaving me alone in the forest and vowing never to return. Common sense told me that I was now a married woman – Edward and I had exchanged vows to never leave each other. And yet ….

I did not intend to be selfish. Edward had been looking forward to this overnight trip for weeks, and I could certainly benefit from time alone to sort through this crisis that had unexpectedly taken over my life. In order for him to leave, I had to somehow convince him beyond a doubt that I felt one hundred percent better.

I could hear him moving about downstairs, and I decided to practice a bright, easy going smile. That would be sure to reassure him that I had miraculously recovered from my week long bout of nausea and dizziness. There were definitely times, such as these, that I thanked God that the thoughts inside my head continued to be a mystery to Edward.

As long as I stayed in bed, the nausea was tolerable. I knew that once I was on my feet it would be a matter of seconds before I'd have to head for the bathroom. I planned to stay where I was until the front door had closed behind Edward.

"Bella?" His voice startled me; I had not heard him come up the stairs. I turned my head and he was walking towards me, his onix-colored eyes scrutinising my face for any sign of illness. He needed to hunt. I took a deep breath and smiled brightly.

"Good morning! All ready to go?"

He frowned suspiciously as he sat on the edge of the bed. Somehow, I maintained the smile.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I held my breath, frantically searching for a reply, but then his face broke out into a beautiful smile and he reached out to take my hand in his, squeezing gently. "You're feeling better?"

"One hundred percent!" I gushed enthusiastically, hoping suddenly that I wasn't overplaying the performance. "I think I've finally beaten that stupid bug".

Edward hesitated, and I could read the uncertainty in his expression as he watched me closely. "Bella …" he began. "There really isn't any need for me to stay away overnight. I'd feel better if I came home this afternoon. Carlisle and Esme can stay till tomorrow if they like". His mouth twitched. "I don't need two days to get my fill of mountain lion". His fingers tightened over mine. "Besides, I'd miss you too much. We haven't spent a night apart since we were married; I don't want to start now".

_Neither do I! What a fantastic idea, Edward! Hurry home, darling!_

I took a deep breath. "Edward, you've had this trip planned for weeks", I spoke quietly. "I like it when you spend time with Carlisle and Esme. Please go – and have a fun time. I'll be fine, I promise. I can't believe how much better I feel already". I could see the indecision on his face, and I grasped the opportunity to lie even more enthusiastically. "Besides, I've got heaps planned for today and tomorrow – I can't cancel now."

Edward was silent for a moment. I knew he was wavering and I widened my smile. "Just think …….. mountain lion ……..yum!!"

He laughed, and his tense expression relaxed. "What am I going to do with you?" He stroked my cheek affectionately and I pressed my lips against his palm.

"Nothing at the moment. You're going to get into that shiny silver volvo of yours and you're going to spend a nice weekend with your parents". My eyes tightened. "And you're not going to worry about me, Edward, not for a second. I'll call you if there's a problem, I promise".

"So, you're going to the movies with Angela this afternoon, you're having dinner with Charlie tonight and you're working tomorrow?" He wanted it clarified.

"That's right. I won't have time to be lonely".

"So ….. you won't miss me then?" Edward lowered his face and his lips brushed against mine. "Are you sure about that?"

I kissed him back, my lips responding to his gentle touch, and tears unexpectedly rose in my eyes. I didn't want him to leave, I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to deal with this problem on my own. I just wanted it to go away!

"Not really", my voice trembled slightly. "But I'll survive, and I'll look forward to seeing you tomorrow night". I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed myself against him, fighting the urge to cry. What if he couldn't handle this problem? What if I lost him?

"Me too" he whispered. "Keep your cell phone on you, because I'm going to be checking on you regularly. I mean it, Bella, if you don't answer that damn phone, I'll be in the car on my way back here before you know it."

"I promise", I managed a weak smile. "Now go! The mountain lions are calling".

I waited until the sound of the volvo's engine had faded away completely. My movements were deliberately slow as I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and pausing as I concentrated on breathing deeply. I fought to push away the familiar nausea, focusing on Charlie's newest recruit at the police station, Renee's most recent obsession – tai chi – and Angela and Ben's impending engagement party; anything that would distract me from my churning stomach. None of it worked, of course, and within minutes I was stumbling towards the bathroom, my throat burning with the taste of acidic bile as I desperately tried to hold it back. The bathroom tiles were cold beneath my knees as I sank down beside the toilet and I shuddered involuntarily, waiting for my empty stomach to purge itself.

Several times during that painfully long day I tried to make my way back to the comfort of my bed. If only I could lay my head on my favorite pillow and wrap myself up in my warm, thick quilt, I would feel better. Each attempt was unsuccessful; the furthest I ventured before I was overwhelmed with dizziness and nausea was the bathroom door. I lost count of the number of times I vomited into the toilet bowl, but as the daylight faded and darkness crept in I was still aware of the need to stay close to the toilet. By this stage I was dry retching; my stomach had lost its meagre contents hours before, but the spasms continued and I was unable to get to my feet, unable to move for fear of losing consciousness.

I must have fallen asleep for a period of time because when I awoke I was aware of the morning sunlight streaming through the bathroom window. I was curled up on the bathroom floor, my body trembling with cold and my stomach cramping painfully. My head felt hot, almost feverish, and when I lifted a hand weakly to push the hair back from my forehead, it came away wet. I tried to push myself up, using the bath tub for leverage, but I had no strength whatsoever. I could only slump back onto the bathroom floor, shivering uncontrollably.

Suddenly, I was frightened. There was something very wrong – nothing about this was normal. Morning sickness, yes, the occasional dizzy spell, okay, but vomiting continuously for over a week, unable to keep even a sip of water down, feeling dizzy to the point of losing consciousness for even a brief period of time – beginning to think that death might just be preferable over this never ending nausea – seemed somehow to indicate that something was not quite right.

I had no idea what time it was; the bright light flooding the bathroom had me guessing that it was close to midday. I remembered I had left the cell phone on the bedside table and hoped to God that Edward had not tried to call me. If so, he was about to find me too weak to move and barely conscious.

_Pull yourself together Bella and stop feeling sorry for yourself! _I told myself harshly before pushing myself up into a sitting position. Mind over matter, that's all that was required. I could do this, I could get myself back into bed. Once there I would close my eyes and have a proper sleep, and by the time I awoke it would be time for Edward to come home. When he was beside me, no problem would seem too huge to handle. We would talk, and I would no longer be carrying this burden alone. Everything would be all right, somehow.

My last thought was reaching up to grasp the edge of the bath tub, intending to pull myself up. Dizziness overwhelmed me, and then I knew no more.


	4. Chapter 4

4. Edward's POV – Emmett

My first call to Bella during the afternoon resulted in the familiar voicemail message, informing me that the cell phone I was trying to reach was switched off. After glancing at my watch, I realised that she was probably in the cinema with Angela. I left it for a few hours and tried again after 8pm. My impatience grew as I listened to a repeat of the earlier message. Bella had obviously forgotten to switch her cell phone back on after the movie, and was now uncontactable. On impulse I called Charlie's number, hopeful that she was still there. I listened to the phone ring out in the small house in Forks, wondering if Charlie had taken Bella out to dinner. It was unlikely but not impossible. There was no other explanation, unless Charlie had taken himself off to bed early. I would wait until ten o'clock, I told myself, and then try again. She was sure to be home by that time.

I hunted with Carlisle and Esme, venturing further into the thick forest and trying unsuccessfully to throw off my persistent feelings of apprehension. Something was not right – I felt it deep in my bones, and if I was to follow my instincts I would have jumped into the volvo there and then and headed for home. However, I knew better than anybody that I was prone to overreaction, and I could just imagine the look on Bella's face and the first words out of her mouth if I showed up at the house in a panicked state, only to find her safe in bed after an enjoyable night out with her father. I had to learn to let go a little – to be slightly less overprotective and to allow Bella a free reign. She could look after herself, I told myself doubtfully whilst trying hard to believe it. I could not oversee every single step she made.

_Yes, but somebody has to! _A voice in my head protested loudly, and I shut it out. Bella was fine! She had simply forgotten to switch her cell phone back on after the movie – a simple explanation.

_Yeh, right! _"Oh shutup", I spoke aloud before I could stop myself, glancing nervously at Esme behind me and hoping that she hadn't heard me. I had let the time get away from me during our last hunt and I saw that it was now after 11 o'clock. Too late to call Bella, unless I wanted to wake her, and I didn't. I remembered too easily her pale, exhausted face and the dark circles underneath her eyes. No, I would let her sleep and call again first thing in the morning. She would be up at 8 o'clock in time for work, and I would be able to put my mind at rest after speaking with her. I sighed heavily to myself; I was reminded once again that I did not cope well being away from Bella for any length of time.

My watch told me that it was eight thirty in the morning, and yet Bella's cell phone was still switched off. I leant back against the driver's door of the volvo and searched through the contacts on my own phone for Angela's number. I was too worried to be angry any longer. I just wanted to hear her voice – dammit I _needed _to hear it! Where the hell was she?

"Hello?"

"Angela, its Edward Cullen here, I hope I didn't wake you".

"No, I've been up for hours", she assured me brightly. "How are you, Edward? Is Bella feeling better?"

"I'm …… actually away from home at the moment", I explained slowly. "I'm trying to get in touch with her but her cell phone's switched off. Was she all right yesterday, at the movies? I was just a bit worried because she wasn't feeling too well when I left".

There was a moment's silence. "Actually, Edward, we didn't go. Bella called on Friday and cancelled. She said she was still trying to get over the flu bug".

Bella had cancelled her plans on Friday? The day before I'd left. Suddenly nothing was making any sense. Why had she lied to me the morning before? And lied very convincingly, too, I had to admit. I couldn't believe that I'd actually fallen for it.

"I think she's on the mend now", I replied shortly. "Thanks, Angela. I'll see you soon".

"See you later, Edward".

I pressed the end button on my phone, and then hit "4" on speed dial. After a dozen rings, just when I was about to give up, the phone was answered.

"Hey bro! How's it going up there? Did you down a grizzly for me?"

"Emmett, I need to speak to Rose", I wasted no time. "Don't tell me she's out".

"Er ….. she's out". He chuckled briefly as I clutched the phone tightly, my frustration about to break through. "She's in Seattle, checking out a couple of car auctions. What's up, my brother? You sound pissed about something".

"I need a favor". I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Can you help me out with something, Emmett?"

"Yeh, sure, whatever you need, Edward. What's up?"

"Can you drive out to the house and check on Bella for me? I can't get in touch with her – she's not answering her cell phone – and I'm worried about her". I hesitated. "She was sick yesterday morning when I left ……… I'm heading home now, but it's going to be at least two hours …."

"No sweat, I'll take a run over there now" Emmett answered and I breathed a sigh of relief. "You want me to give you a call when I get there?"

"Yes, or just get Bella to ring me". I paused. "Thanks, Emmett, I owe you one".

"And don't forget it", he laughed. "Give me ten minutes, bro, and either Bella or I will ring you back". He ended the call and I snapped my phone shut, glancing around our camping site and beginning to throw things randomly into the trunk of my car. I was anxious to be on my way – back to Forks, to Bella.

Ten minutes passed, fifteen and then twenty. Carlisle and Esme returned from the forest, taking in my thunderous expression and obviously deciding against asking me what was wrong. I held the phone in my hand, willing it to ring, and as the minutes ticked by my anxiety grew. Twenty five minutes ….. thirty ……. the phone buzzed. I glanced quickly at the caller ID before answering. I noted that it was Emmett returning my call, not Bella.

"Emmett? What's going on?" I spoke urgently, and Emmett's words had me jumping into the driver's seat and revving the engine, my hands gripping the steering wheel in a mind-numbing panic.

"Edward, you'd better come home". His voice was low, but the concern in his tone was unmistakeable. "She's …… not good. I'll stay with her till you get here".

"I'm on my way".


	5. Chapter 5

5. Bella's POV: Darkness

I lost all track of time as I lay on the bathroom floor, waiting to feel better. Sometimes I was aware of sunlight flooding the room, at other times I was convinced it was the dead of night. I began to imagine voices calling out to me, yet I knew there was nobody there.

I was trembling uncontrollably, wearing only a favorite t-shirt and panties. The tiles beneath me were hard and cold and my head ached relentlessly as I pressed my cheek to the floor. It had to get better – it had to! This nausea and weakness could not last forever. Soon I would be able to pull myself up off the floor and make it to my warm, comfortable bed. I longed to have something in my stomach again, to feel normal, the way I had felt before this nightmarish week had begun. I vowed to never again take good health for granted.

I slept – for how long I had no idea. When I awoke I was determined to get myself off this bathroom floor, even if it killed me. I prepared myself by taking in some slow deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. I pressed the palms of my hands against the floor and gradually began to raise my head. So far so good. I began to lift my upper body until I was finally sitting up, my legs curled underneath me. There was no time to pat myself on the back for my efforts because almost immediately the bathroom began to spin crazily around me. My barren stomach heaved and I bent over the toilet, my eyes watering as the acidic bile scalded my raw and aching throat on its way up.

Minutes passed – or was it hours? I had no idea. Eventually I was spent, and this time the cool bathroom tiles were a relief as I rested my hot, flushed forehead against them. I didn't want to waste what meagre amount of energy I still possessed on tears, but I couldn't help it. I was frightened, truly terrified of what was happening to me. I couldn't move, for God's sake, without passing out or throwing up. I hated the thought of Edward coming home and finding me this way but I didn't know what to do. If only my cell phone had been beside me I would've called Angela and asked for her help. I closed my eyes against the flood of tears, and sensed the encroaching darkness taking me over once again. This time I welcomed it.

In my dream I was stumbling through thick forest, my hands up in front of my face to guard against the persistent branches and twigs scratching at my face, as if determined to take my eye out. Somebody was following close behind. I didn't know who it was, but I quickened my steps, my heart thumping inside my chest. From my instinctive and immediate reaction I could only conclude that the pursuer behind me was a threat to my safety. He was constantly calling out my name, yet his voice was not familiar or friendly. I kept running.

"Bella? Come on Bella, I know you're in there! I'm counting to ten and then I'm opening the door, so if you're not decent you'd better say so now!"

I struggled to open my eyes, I was so disorientated. I had expected to see green forest surrounding me but instead it was the familiar tiled walls of the bathroom. I groaned, wanting nothing more at that moment than to go back to sleep. I would choose the threatening nightmare any day over this hell that was now my reality.

Suddenly somebody was beside me. I was instantly aware of their presence, even before I felt the cool hand on my shoulder. I gasped and this time managed to open my eyes.

"Jesus Christ, Bella, what happened? Did you fall down _again?" _The expression on Emmett's face was one of real concern, his tone gentle and my eyes automatically filled with tears.

"No, I ….." I struggled to get the words past my painful throat. "I just ….. got sick".

"You look like you got sick quite a while ago. Edward's going nuts because you haven't answered your phone". Emmett's hand tightened on my shoulder. "Why are you lying in here on the floor Bella? Wouldn't the bed be a little more comfortable?"

I shook my head weakly. "I have to …. stay here, Emmett. It ….. I can't stop being sick",

"Was it something you ate? Like food poisoning or something?"

"I'm not sure". I closed my eyes wearily. "I have to go back to sleep now".

"Bella, hang on!" His voice was close to my ear this time. "Let me put you into bed, okay? You can't stay here on the damned floor – you'll freeze to death". I felt his arm behind my shoulders and I pulled away from him.

"No! No Emmett, please! Leave me here". Raising my voice even slightly was agonising for my throat but I did not want Emmett to pick me up. I knew that I was not yet done being sick – the next wave of nausea was just around the corner, and I wanted to be beside the toilet when it hit.

He hesitated and I could see the indecision on his face. "Bella ….."

"No", I mumbled, turning away from him. "I need to stay here". Emmett sighed and then left me. He was back within seconds, a pillow and a thin blanket from the linen press in his arms.

"Let me make you a little more comfortable at least", he spoke resignedly. The pillow felt wonderful beneath my head and I clutched at the blanket gratefully, my body still trembling from the cold tiles beneath me. Emmett crouched beside me; I could tell he was still unhappy about leaving me where I was.

"Bella", he began uncertainly. "Should I call a doctor? You look ….. honestly Bella, you look terrible".

"No", I squeezed my eyes shut as a tide of nausea rolled towards me. "No ….. just ….. just leave me, Emmett …… please". I broke off, unable to continue. My last thought was one of panic, of vomiting all over poor Emmett, but then my head began to spin, and the world went away.


	6. Chapter 6

6. Edward's POV: **Home**

I made the two hour trip home in one hour and ten. I had called Carlisle on the way, apologising for my abrupt departure and explaining to him about Emmett's phone call. I could hear the concern in Carlisle's voice.

"Any idea what's going on, Edward? She was unwell two weeks ago, when Esme and I dropped around. If it's a stomach bug it's certainly persistent".

"I don't know", I sighed heavily. My hand tightened on the steering wheel. "Dammit Carlisle, I shouldn't have left her yesterday morning. I had a feeling something wasn't right".

"You can't do anything about that now, Edward. Just get home to her, and let me know if you need me to stop in on my way back to take a look at her".

I snapped my cell phone shut and concentrated on the road ahead. The turn off to Forks was coming up and my foot barely touched the brake pedal as I veered off to the right, heading for home.

Emmett greeted me at the front door, his large frame blocking the entrance. "What's happening?" I asked urgently as I bounded up the steps. The expression of relief at my early return was evident on his face. "Is she all right, Emmett? Does she need a doctor?"

"I think maybe, yeah. She said she just started feeling sick", Emmett explained to me as we walked into the house. "She can't keep anything down – just throws everything up. I got kind of worried, man, because she can't even get up off the bathroom floor".

"What?" I stared at Emmett in horror. "Why is she on the bathroom floor, for God's sake?"

"That's where I found her", he spoke defensively. "She wouldn't let me move her – said she had to stay next to the toilet ….". I muttered an obscenity and dashed up the stairs. Emmett followed close behind.

I pushed the bathroom door open with a hand that was not quite steady and somehow managed to choke back a second and more serious obscenity when I saw her.

Bella was curled on her side on the white tiles, visibly trembling beneath a thin summer blanket. Emmett had thoughtfully placed a pillow under her head but she still looked incredibly uncomfortable. Her eyes were closed, her face devoid of all color and drenched with perspiration. I was reminded of the year before, seeing her broken and damaged body lying on the wooden floor of the ballet studio in Phoenix. Of course I knew that she was not injured this time, only very ill, but she appeared just as vulnerable and as helpless as she had on that unforgettable day.

I hurried across the room and knelt down beside her. "Bella? Open your eyes, sweetheart, and talk to me. Tell me what's wrong". I spoke to her softly as I cradled her warm cheek in my hand. "I'm home now, Bella. I'm right here beside you".

She stirred slightly and I could see her struggling to force her eyes open. "E… Edward?"

"I'm here". I enclosed her stiff fingers within mine and squeezed gently. "It's all right, Bella. I'm going to take care of you. I'm here now". Bella squeezed her eyes tightly closed as I caressed her cheek tenderly. "Does anything hurt, sweetheart? Are you in any pain?"

"Just …. my throat", she whispered. "It's burning".

I glanced around at Emmett standing in the doorway. "Could you get me a glass of water?" I asked him softly. "And … call Carlisle for me on his cell phone. Ask him to get here as soon as he can".

"Will do". Emmett disappeared and I turned back to Bella.

"I'm going to put you into bed, love. You can't stay here".

"No!" Her hand clutched mine weakly and she managed this time to open her eyes to look up at me. "I can't … go far from here. I keep being sick". Tears suddenly filled her eyes and despite her protests I locked one arm underneath her knees and the other behind her shoulders, lifting her easily.

"It doesn't matter". I told her gently. "I'll get you something to keep beside you on the bed. You need to get off this floor, Bella". I held her close against my chest as I carried her through to the bedroom. Her t-shirt was wet in places, probably from perspiration, and I lowered her carefully onto the covers, just as Emmett returned with a glass of iced water.

"Here", he held it out to me. "Carlisle's on his way. He left not long after you did".

"Okay, thanks". I brought the glass up to Bella's dry lips but she lifted her hand and weakly pushed it away.

"No" she protested, her voice barely audible. "I won't keep it down".

"Bella, it will help soothe your throat a little. Just try a sip, for me, please" I begged her. She hesitated for what seemed like a long time, and then she allowed me to press the glass against her lips once more. She swallowed once, then twice before shaking her head, waving the glass away. I barely had time to place it on the bedside table before she began to cough, bringing up the small amount of water she'd managed to swallow. Her expression twisted into one of pain as she heaved, and I quickly placed my arm behind her back, supporting her as her stomach revolted against this new intrusion. This time I did not have to ask. Emmett was there with a towel and a wet face cloth. I thanked him with my eyes as he handed them to me.

Bella was breathing heavily, and I gently wiped her hot face with the wet cloth. "You're all right", I whispered to her. "I've got you, sweetheart. Just lie back against me and take some nice deep breaths, in and out. It's going to pass".

She shook her head and a sob escaped from her throat. "I told you!" she spoke wearily. "It won't stay down!" The tears overflowed and I pulled her up close against me, holding her tight as she cried brokenly.

"I'm sorry", I tried to soothe her. "Don't cry, please Bella. We're going to get you well again, I promise you. Trust me, all right?"

She was shaking her head against my chest and all I could do was tighten my arms around her. I didn't know how to comfort her, how to make it better for her. I hoped to God that Carlisle had the accelerator pressed to the floor, just as I had.

When the crying had eased off, I pulled away and managed a smile for her. Once again I wiped her face with the face cloth, pushing her damp hair back from her brow with my fingers. "Let me find you a dry t-shirt", I told her as I stood up. My chest of drawers was closer and I grabbed the first long-sleeved item I could find – a warm flannalette shirt that I often wore over jeans. "Emmett, could you turn your back for a minute?"

"Oh! Er … sure. Sorry, I'll … er …. go downstairs and wait for Carlisle". Once he had left the room I took hold of the bottom of the damp t-shirt and lifted it carefully over Bella's head. I had to guide her limp arms through the long sleeves of my shirt, rolling up the cuffs four times before her hands were revealed. I quickly did up the buttons and drew the blankets up over her as she lay down, her eyes closing with exhaustion.

"Try to sleep, Bella", I whispered to her. "Carlisle will be here soon, and he's going to give you something to stop the vomiting and help you to feel better. I won't leave you, I promise. I'll be here the whole time".

"He can't make it better", she mumbled as once again tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Shhhhh, yes he can", I spoke soothingly as I brushed the tears away with my fingertips. "Come on now, Bella. No more tears, my love. Everything will be all right, I'll make sure of it".

There was no reply, and as she succumbed to sleep I continued to watch over her, tenderly caressing her cheek, and gripped by an unexplainable, numbing fear.


	7. Chapter 7

7. Bella's POV: **Confession**

Actually I didn't sleep – not properly anyway. It was really more dozing as I was aware most of the time of what was going on in the room around me. I knew when Emmett left and when Carlisle arrived, and although my brain was fuzzy and a persistent headache throbbed behind my temples, I was aware of snatches of their conversation every now and then. Carlisle was asking a lot of questions in his calm voice, Edward responding as best he could. I could detect the frustration in his voice, and I wished I could have pulled myself out of the drowsy state I was in so that I could reassure him; convince him somehow that I was not on my death bed, as he so obviously seemed to think was the case.

After a few minutes I became aware of Carlisle's cool hand on my brow, then his fingers resting lightly on my wrist, no doubt checking my pulse. A blood pressure cuff was gently eased around my upper arm and I held my breath as it began to tighten. "Take it easy", Edward whispered to me as he began to stroke my hair. "It's all right, Bella".

"85 on 48". Carlisle's sigh was heavy. "She's tachycardic as well – pulse rate 130".

"Dehydration?"

"It looks like it. If she can't keep fluids down we'll have to give them to her intravenously. I was prepared to treat her here at home, but ….. I don't know Edward, I'm thinking she should probably be admitted to the hospital. You may not have noticed because you see Bella every day, but I haven't seen her since last Sunday, and I can tell she's lost weight – at least seven or eight pounds".

"What!" Next to me, Edward's tone was shocked.

"She needs close monitoring, at least ……."

"Carlisle, no", I managed to speak the words as I forced my eyes open. "No hospitals, okay? Please, I'll look after myself, I promise …… just, no hospitals".

Carlisle's kind face came into focus, and I saw that he was smiling at me. "Well, hello sleeping beauty. What do you have to say for yourself? Is this some sort of new age diet? Lose a pound a day?"

I did not return the smile. "I don't want to go to hospital, Carlisle. I'll be okay – I will".

Carlisle's face became serious. "Bella, I really think you need some medical attention – more so than what Edward here can give you".

"But Edward's a doctor ……"

"Well, in theory but not in practice". I saw Carlisle and Edward exchange a smile. "I can give you some fluid intravenously, Bella, but if you're not better by the morning I'll have to insist on taking you to the hospital myself". He paused. "Do we have a deal?"

I sighed and closed my eyes again. "Edward", I spoke softly. "Could you please get me some ice?"

"Of course!" He was quick to rise to his feet. "I'll be right back".

As soon as he had left the room, I reached up and grabbed Carlisle's hand. "I need to speak to you in private", I whispered. "Please Carlisle, its important". He nodded slowly, his face settling into a worried expression. There was an awkward silence whilst I contemplated the right words to say, and just as I was preparing them in my head, I heard Edward's step on the stairs. "Dammit, couldn't he have used human speed for once", I muttered. "But no, he has to show off with the vampire speed". There was no time for any further discussion before he was coming through the doorway. Edward held the cup of ice out to me, and I took it hesitantly.

"Er …. Edward", Carlisle met his gaze. "I picked up some supplies from the hospital before I stopped here; could you get them from the car for me?"

"Sure", Edward was obviously keen to help in any way he could. He gave my hand one last squeeze and then he was gone again.

"Okay", Carlisle sat down beside me on the bed. "What's going on, Bella? It's just you and me here. If this is something you don't want to share with Edward, I can keep it confidential between us for now. Perhaps I can help, at least I can try".

"Thank you". My eyes filled with tears at the kindness in his voice, and I struggled to hold them back. I had no idea how to say what it was I needed to tell him, so I simply took a deep breath and let it all out. "I did a pregnancy test ….. no, actually I did two because they come in a pack of two ……". I was rambling, I knew, but I couldn't stop. "It …. they came up positive, Carlisle". I braced myself and looked up, meeting his gaze. "Both tests said I was pregnant …. I don't know what to do!"

Carlisle's hand tightened around mine, and his eyes narrowed. "Bella…." he began.

"Please don't tell me I'm going crazy!" I exclaimed. "I know it's impossible, I know it can't happen …. but I …… I don't know what to do, Carlisle!" The tears overflowed and I held back a sob, not wanting to break down in front of him. "But . . . most of all, please don't ask me if this is Edward's baby, because I know the first thing that jumps into your head is wondering who I slept with, besides . . . Oh, God, Carlisle, I couldn't . . . couldn't stand it if you . . ."

"Let me tell you something, Bella". He spoke gently as he held my hand in his. "I may be totally thrown by what you've just told me. In fact, I may even doubt that what you're saying is actually possible". He leant closer towards me. "But one thing I will never, ever doubt is your love and the loyalty you feel for my son". His eyes were kind, and I squeezed his hand gratefully. "I believe in you, Bella. With all of my heart. Now, answer some doctor questions for me, if you can. When was your last period?"

"August, just after the wedding", I swallowed painfully. "I had a really light one in September – it only lasted for a day or two – and then nothing".

"When did you start feeling nauseous?"

"Maybe a couple of weeks ago. At first it wasn't too bad, just this queasy feeling every now and then, but since Wednesday it's been unbearable". I closed my eyes as the tears continued to flow. "Carlisle, this can't be happening, right?"

"I don't know, Bella". I looked up at him and his expression was troubled. "I seem to remember something ………….. many years ago" he hesitated. "I need to speak to Tanya in Delani before I can tell you the whole story". He paused. "Why don't we get this confirmed before we take it any further. A simple blood test will do that. There's no sense in worrying, or stressing Edward out, until we know for sure".

"But …." The word caught in my throat as I heard the front door slam.

"Our secret for now" Carlisle whispered as Edward's footsteps sounded on the stairs. I felt a weight shift off my shoulder; sharing my worry with Carlisle had eased the load considerably. Edward set down Carlisle's medical bag on the end of the bed and looked across at him expectantly.

"Well?"

"I think I might take some blood, if that's okay with you Bella", Carlisle glanced at me. "I'd like to check out your haemoglobin levels, and a few other things. Also, I'd like to put a cannula into the back of your hand and give you some fluids intravenously. I can give you a dose of maxolon which should settle the nausea". He met Edward's gaze, as if to gain approval. "What do you think?" Edward nodded slowly whilst I hesitated. "If the blood tests show up nothing, and you're no better in the morning then we'll have to consider hospitalisation, Bella. There's no other option".

I let out my breath in one huge woosh. The thought of a drip in the back of my hand caused the bile to creep up from my stomach to my throat. I remembered only too clearly the many intravenous lines and tubes that had been connected to me last year during my hospital stay in Phoenix. I could feel what little color there was in my face draining out fast, and I was grateful for Edward's steadying arm as he wrapped it around my shoulders and pulled me up close against his side. What do you think, Bella?" He spoke softly. "Want to give it a try?"

"Yes", I nodded slowly, and then closed my eyes against a sickening wave of nausea. I was aware of Carlisle placing a tourniquet around my upper arm and his hand gently patting the back of mine, trying to locate a suitable vein. Edward kissed my forehead before pressing my face against his shoulder, his lips on my brow and his arm tightening around me as Carlisle inserted the cannula with one quick move. I felt the sudden sting, and then nothing else. Carlisle was very good at what he did. With the pressure of Edward's hand against the back of my head, pressing it against his shoulder, I had no opportunity to see the four test tubes filling with my blood.

"All done", Carlisle said, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I lifted my head and watched as he injected some type of medicine into the cannula, and then connected a line from my hand to a bag of clear fluid which he suspended from my bedside lamp. "Give this half an hour, Bella, and you're going to feel like a new person", he assured me with a smile.

I lay down, my head against the pillows as Edward held my hands tightly within his. Carlisle was busy for a few minutes, gathering up equipment and adjusting the flow of fluid that was flowing into my vein. After ten minutes the rolling nausea had amazingly subsided a little, and for the first time in days I could actually think of food without vomiting. Carlisle bent over me to say goodbye, and he touched his hand briefly against my cheek. "You look better already" he smiled. "Give me an hour, and I'll be back with those results. I've got a technician in the lab that will rush it through for me".

"Thank you", I whispered.

"You're very welcome". I watched as he turned towards Edward, but his words were lost as sleep overcame me, true sleep without dreams, nightmares or fear.

I awoke to the discomfort of a full bladder. Opening my eyes, I watched Edward replace the empty bag of fluid with a full one, adjusting the flow to a slower rate. He glanced down at me and smiled. "Dr Edward Cullen", he raised his eyebrows. "What do you think?"

"Sounds good", I murmured and tentatively stretched my limbs. "Do you think I could get up to go to the bathroom, doctor?"

He sat beside me on the bed and touched his lips to mine for a brief moment. "I don't think so" he whispered. "I'll just have to dig up a bedpan from somewhere".

"Edward!" He chuckled as he pulled away and straightened up.

"How are you feeling? The truth, Bella – I mean it!"

"Better", I replied. "How long was I asleep?"

"A couple of hours – it's just after four o'clock. Do you think you could eat something?"

I shuddered involuntarily at the thought. "No".

Edward was silent for a moment. It looked like he was deliberating upon something important, and I reached up to touch his beautiful face.

"I love you", my voice choked up, and he caught my hand in his and brought it up to his lips, kissing it warmly.

"I love you, Bella. Never ever forget that".

"What if ……" I swallowed painfully. "What if things changed …. what if you didn't want to stay with me because ….. because things were different?" I could feel the tears rising and I fought to hold them back.

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know …..I don't know anything". I turned my face away from his and stared at the wall, my heart pounding as I heard the sound of Carlisle's Mercedes pull up outside the house. My stomach rolled sickeningly and I clamped a hand tightly across my mouth, swallowing desperately to keep it from rising up my throat. I was scared, so damned scared! I didn't want to hear what he had to say – I knew that he was going to confirm my fears, and I wanted – no, I needed – to hang onto the possibility that this was all a huge mistake, just for a little while longer. Edward's hand was suddenly cool on my forehead and I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the tears back. I wouldn't cry anymore – not today, or tomorrow, or the rest of the week for that matter! I could handle whatever it was that Carlisle was coming to tell me. I would deal with it as best I could, because that was the way I had been raised – to meet every challenge and problem head on. I would not run from this – not now, not ever.

"Tell me what you're thinking", Edward's voice was serious. "I know you, Bella. You are worrying yourself sick over something. Please, love, let me help you if I can".

Carlisle's footsteps sounded on the stairs. I caught the look of anxiety on Edward's face as he turned his head towards the doorway and then back to me. "Bella? Will you talk to me?"

"Yes". The word barely left my tongue before Carlisle was beside the bed, standing opposite Edward.

"She looks better already". He gave me a small smile and then met Edward's gaze. "I've got the results, Edward. It's a clear cut diagnosis".

Edward let out his breath slowly. "And ……?"

"And I'm going to let Bella tell you". Carlisle studied my face as he spoke to Edward. He nodded encouragingly, and I knew what he was silently telling me. _Yes, Bella. You were right. And now Edward needs to know. Be brave – you can do this!_

Edward's confused gaze switched from Carlisle to me. "Aren't you going to tell her first?"

"She already knows". Carlisle patted my shoulder, reassuring me before leaving the room.

I did not realize that my bottom lip had been caught between my teeth and that I was biting down until I suddenly tasted warm blood in my mouth. I gagged involuntarily, and Edward quickly grabbed the hand towel next to me.

"Bella! What are you doing, for heaven's sake – you're bleeding!" He pressed the towel against my lip, his arm going around my shoulders to support me. I closed my eyes, the dizziness overwhelming as I swallowed, trying to get rid of the copper-tasting blood.

"No, don't swallow it", Edward spoke firmly. "Spit it out instead. Come on, Bella, I've got the towel right here. Cough it up, sweetheart".

I did, my throat once again aching with the effort. Edward handed me the glass of water on the bedside table and I took a small tentative sip.

"Better?"

"Yes". Edward carefully took the towel away. The wound oozed for a few more seconds, and then stopped. He sighed heavily as he watched my pale, anxious face, and as I stared down at my hands enclosed within Edward's I could see that they were trembling uncontrollably. Edward squeezed them gently, as if to give me courage.

"Don't be frightened, love. Just tell me. Never be afraid to talk to me, please!" He looked deeply into my eyes, encouraging me to begin. I nodded, as if giving myself the go-ahead, and prepared to shock him into silence.

"I …… Edward I'm pregnant". The words flew out of my mouth before I could lose what little nerve Edward's calm and understanding voice had given me, and then I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. The expression on his face did not alter in the slightest, but I detected an instant stiffening of his shoulders. My heart raced in erratic bursts, waiting for his response. I counted up to forty in my head before it came.

"Bella don't be ridiculous". His tone was formal. "That's not possible".

"I … I know, but …."

"For heaven's sake, this is wishful thinking on your part, Bella". He sounded almost angry, and for one horrifying moment I was reminded of my nightmare, two nights ago. "You know I can't give you a child – you accepted that fact when you agreed to marry me. That can't be in our future, Bella – not ever!"

"Edward, just listen to me!" I pulled my hands from his and struggled to hold back the tears that were rising and threatening to fall. "I did two home pregnancy tests, and they both ….."

"Those things are notorious for false results", he said impatiently. "There are numerous reasons for missing a period, Bella. Why jump to this particular conclusion?"

"Because it's the right one". My voice was shaking and I was on the verge of breaking down. "The blood test confirmed it, Edward! That's what Carlisle was talking about when …… when …". I broke off, unable to continue, and at last a flicker of emotion flashed across Edward's stony face.

"When he what?"

I took in a deep, shuddering breath. "The blood that he took this afternoon – he had it tested at the lab. It came up positive too".

"How?" A look of utter shock was taking over Edward's face, his eyes widening as he stared down at me. "How could it …. how could it be positive?"

I could only shake my head silently, the tears threatening to overflow any second now. Edward squeezed his eyes shut, the fingers on his right hand pinching the bridge of his nose – a sure sign that he was deeply frustrated.

"Bella, I …. I need a minute". He stood up abruptly and left the room, without a backward glance.

I watched him walk away, promising myself that I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't cry, dammit! He was entitled to some time, some space on his own. I had just delivered a huge shock to his system – what had I expected? Hugs and celebrations? "No", I whispered aloud as the tears began to fall. "But it would've been nice".


	8. Chapter 8

8. Edward's POV: **Acceptance**

I stared out at the pouring rain, battering against the trees in the backyard. I had fled to the library – I didn't know why, but as I fought desperately to control my breathing I could not help but think how ridiculous this was. I didn't even _need _to breathe, and here I was, hyperventilating! My hands were clenched into fists at my sides and, one at a time, I concentrated on flexing my fingers slowly, trying to rid myself of the tension as my mind raced in erratic circles.

What was Bella thinking? What was she talking about? A child? How in God's name could we conceive a child together?

"_The blood that he took this afternoon – he had it tested at the lab. It came up positive too"._

Bella's words played over and over in my head, until slowly but surely the words began to make sense through the persistent fog of confusion and doubt. I suddenly froze as I recalled Bella's bout of flu over two weeks before, and how she hadn't really seemed to recover. Her fainting spells, her queasiness, her loss of appetite. I tried to remember when I had last been aware of Bella having her period. It had been August – a week after our wedding.

"No!" I breathed the word out slowly, stunned beyond belief as I struggled to accept the possibility that Bella was actually pregnant. A sudden hand on my shoulder caused an involuntary gasp to escape my lips, and then I was looking into Carlisle's calm, golden eyes, standing beside me.

"Are you all right?"

"No", I shook my head. "I … can't get my head around this, Carlisle. How could this happen? Is she …. is she _sure?"_

"There's no doubt, Edward. I had pathology fast-track her blood sample for me. Her Hcg levels are through the roof – equivalent to a ten week gestation".

"_Ten weeks!_ But …. _how?"_

He smiled at me. "Didn't you and I ever have that talk …..?"

"Carlisle please!" I was not in the mood for his humor.

"Edward, be calm". Carlisle's expression sobered and his hand tightened on my shoulder. "Whilst I was at the hospital I called Tanya in Delani. I seemed to remember something like this happening once before, quite a while ago. It was 1969 actually. One of the coven, Philip was his name, had a brief relationship with a young lady from Anchorage – human, of course. Nine months later she gave birth to a baby boy", he paused. "Perfectly normal and healthy".

"And …… human?"

"Absolutely", Carlisle assured me. "Tanya keeps in contact with him. He works as an architect up in Nova Scotia. Happily married with children of his own". I released a pent-up breath as Carlisle continued. "Apparently, certain body fluids, only small amounts, can remain in our bodies for decades, centuries even. We all have a certain amount of blood in our veins – you know that. In your case, Edward, your body has retained semen. Warmth has obviously taken the sperm out of their frozen state, making them mobile". I could feel the tension leaving my face under the warmth of his smile. "It's quite a miracle, Edward, It just needs to sink in, and once it does, and the initial shock wears off, I think you'll see it as a miracle, too".

I pushed my hands through my already tousled hair, thinking only now of Bella. She did not want this, I knew. This would mean delaying her transformation indefinitely, instead becoming a mother at the age of 19. It had been a stretch to eventually convince her to marry me at such a young age, and now ……"

"Dear God!" I groaned. "She must hate me right now".

"Why on earth would you think that?"

"Come on, Carlisle. Bella knows very well how I feel about her …. joining us. She'll think I did this on purpose so that her transformation wouldn't happen any time soon; that I tricked her into …."

"Edward, for heaven's sake, listen to yourself!" Carlisle's abrupt tone surprised me. "Bella loves you, with every fibre of her being. Why would she think of you in those terms?"

"I don't know" I groaned. "I just … she must be feeling devastated right now".

"Yes, I imagine she is", he nodded. "But not because she's having a baby. I think it may have more to do with the fact that you walked away from her a few moments ago, perhaps when she needed you the most".

I suddenly remembered my abrupt departure from the bedroom, Bella's eyes pleading with me to believe her …….. to understand. She had been terrified of telling me, had gathered up her courage and finally spoken the words, and what had I done? Fled like a petrified rabbit, leaving her vulnerable and alone. Dear God, I was an even worse monster than I'd always thought! How could I have been so selfish? So blind to what she had needed from me at that moment? I had turned my back on her and walked away.

"Unforgivable" I muttered, furious with myself. I turned away from the window, intent on returning to Bella, but Carlisle stopped me.

"Be careful with her, Edward", he spoke softly. "She's very fragile right now. One wrong word and she could fall apart. She's been carrying this burden alone for over a week now".

I nodded. "I'll take care of her". My voice was barely a whisper, and then I turned and left Carlisle alone, to stare out at the storm.

I pushed the bedroom door open as quietly as I could, reluctant to disturb Bella if she was sleeping. I needn't have worried. I watched in anguish as she lay, curled on her side with her back to where I stood, her shoulders heaving with the sobs escaping from her throat. I was reminded of the night, five months earlier, when I had held her close as she cried, just as she was crying now, after saying goodbye to Jacob Black. I had hoped with all of my heart on that endless night that I would never again have to witness such heartbreak. To know now that I had been the cause of this distress made it so much worse to bear. The guilt was overpowering.

I went to her, kicking my shoes off and climbing onto the bed. I lay on my side facing her and reached out my arms. Bella's hands were clutching the pillow and I gently pried them open, enclosing them in my own cool hands for a moment before gently placing her arms around my neck, careful to not disturb the IV cannula in the back of her hand. She would not meet my gaze, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as the tears trickled down her cheeks. I held her face carefully between my hands and then I pressed my lips against her brow, her eyelids, her cheeks and finally her mouth.

"Bella, sweetheart", I whispered as I pulled away. "I am so very, very sorry". She shook her head slowly, her whole body convulsing with uncontrollable sobs. I let go of her face and gathered her up close against my chest. At first her body was stiff, unrelenting, but then I became aware of the gradual releasing of tension, the almost hesitant response as her arms tightened around my neck. Her tears had soaked through my shirt within seconds, and I felt the dampness against my shoulder. "Please don't cry", I closed my eyes, the guilt and the pain unbearable as I listened to the outpouring of her grief. "Please, Bella, I can't bear it".

"I … I'm all .. all right", she hiccuped as she buried her face into my chest, and I gently pulled away from her again, holding her shoulders within my hands.

"No, you're not", I spoke quietly. I looked down at her face, wet with tears, flushed with humiliation, her eyes closed tightly, not wanting – I knew – to face me. "You're very upset, and you have every right to be, because you just told me the most wonderful news I've ever heard in my entire existence, and I reacted badly, before I could take it in". I stroked her cheek lightly, and to my relief she opened her eyes tentatively and met my gaze. "Sweetheart, forgive me. Let's …. let's rewind back to 15 minutes ago and start over". I gave her a small smile and gently brushed away the tears on her cheeks with my fingertips. "Now, tell me what's wrong. What's the matter, Bella?"

She took in a long shuddering breath and her hands trembled on the side of my neck. "Go on", I encouraged her gently.

"I'm pregnant, Edward. I ….. I don't know how, but I am".

For some ridiculous reason her words, although totally expected this time around, caused my insides to tighten up in a sudden grip of terror, just like last time. I ignored this escalating panic and concentrated instead on relaxing my shoulders and breathing deeply. Her eyes conveyed her intense fear, and I bent towards her and softly pressed my lips against hers, my hand cupped around her cheek as I kissed her, ever so slowly.

"So", I whispered as I moved my lips to her jaw, her throat, below her ear. "Are you telling me we're having a baby?"

"Y..yes".

"How do you feel about that?"

"I'm scared". Bella's eyes filled once again with tears, and before I could speak her face had crumpled once again and her body began to shake uncontrollably. "I can't …… Edward, I can't do this! I'm so scared!!"

My arms once again wrapped securely around her trembling frame and I felt the stab of guilt through my soul as I thought of what I had done to her. She was 19 years old, for heavens sake! Little more than a baby herself. Because of my actions I had forged out a path for her which she had little choice but to take; a path which lead in the opposite direction to what she desired with all of her heart – immortality. Somehow, however, I had to make it right, somehow I would give her what she wanted most in this world.

"Silly Bella", I murmured to her as I stroked her dark hair back from her forehead. "Why would you be scared, when you have me right here beside you, every step of the way? You're not alone, Bella. We're in this together. You're not going to get rid of me that easily".

"But, Edward". Her voice was muffled against my shirt. "You don't want this. You never planned for this to happen".

"No, I didn't", I spoke honestly. "But that's because I never thought in a million years that it was possible. I never considered it an option". I paused. "Bella, do you remember the night you agreed to marry me, right after your big seduction scene?" I looked down at her and was encouraged at the tiny smile on her face. "You told me that you had never been that kind of girl, the kind of girl that wanted to settle down with a husband and children. And I said that I _had_ been that kind of boy, when I was 17 years old and human, living in Chicago. It was how I was raised, Bella. That was the type of life that was expected for me, and that I wanted, more than anything. When I was ….. changed, and I came to realize what I was, I had no choice but to accept that my dream for any kind of normal life was over. I would never be the husband and the father that I had forever longed to be". I rubbed my thumb gently over her full lips. "You've just given me my dream back, Bella. Its taken 90 years, but you've done that for me".

"I don't …". She paused. "Edward, I don't know how to be a mother".

"Guess what?" I whispered. "I don't know how to be a father either, but I do know that we're going to work it out, day by day. I'm fairly sure that the only requirement needed here is love – lots of it". I smiled at her, and this time she returned my smile, her eyes filled with tears. "You know what, Bella? I think we're going to be great at this!"

"But …… Edward ….", Bella's tentative smile disappeared and her hands tightened on my shoulders. "What about …. me becoming a vampire? I can't give _my _dream up! I just can't Edward! I want to spend the rest of eternity with you and ……"

"Bella stop". I pressed my finger against her lips. "We will work it out, I promise you. Let's get you through this pregnancy first. Once you've finished nursing the baby, I don't see why we can't follow through on your dream, if that's what you really want".

"Really?"

"Yes, really". I tightened my arms around her. "Do you have any idea, Isabella Cullen, how much I truly love you right now?"

She reached up to press her lips against mine. "I think I do, Edward Cullen", she whispered. "I really think I do".


	9. Chapter 9

9. Edward's POV: **Guilt**

Carlisle left a few hours later, leaving behind several ampoules of maxolon, six pints of intravenous fluid and strict instructions on how to administer both. He promised to return first thing in the morning, to check on Bella and to make a decision as to whether or not she needed admission to the hospital.

I watched as Carlisle knelt beside the bed, smiling at Bella as he prepared to leave. "Are you really feeling better, or are you putting on an academy award performance so that I'll leave you here with Edward?" Despite the drama of the afternoon, I couldn't help grinning at his words. "I'm not that easy to fool, you know".

"I don't think I could eat anything", Bella spoke hesitantly. "But I don't feel like throwing up, either. That's definitely an improvement. I think . . . I'm just tired. I'll be okay in the morning".

Carlisle nodded and then glanced up at me. "Keep the fluids going overnight", he said. "If she does feel like eating, some dry toast or crackers should be okay. And, Edward, if there's any problem, if you're worried at all … please call me". I nodded, indicating my full understanding and Carlisle stood up, ready to leave. "It might be a good idea to arrange for a sonogram, just to determine a more accurate due date for the birth". He smiled at Bella. "It's also an introduction to your baby, Bella. You'll be able to see him or her quite clearly. What do you think?"

"Í don't know …." The expression on Bella's face was one of pure panic, and I squeezed her hand gently within mine, leaning down to kiss her lips softly, wanting to convey just how much I loved her at that very moment.

"I think that's a great idea", I whispered. "I'll be right there with you, sweetheart. There's nothing to be afraid of".

"What if . . . there's something wrong?" Her hand trembled inside mine. "Maybe this is all some big mistake and . . . and the baby isn't …. isn't …"

I opened my mouth to reassure her, to tell her that she was being silly, but Carlisle silenced me with a warning glance, an expression that clearly told me to keep quiet and let him do the talking.

"You're right, Bella", he nodded. "This is no normal situation – I don't have any experience with a pregnancy conceived by a vampire and a human. There may be . . . complications, I'm not sure. That's why I'm recommending a sonogram at this stage – to determine if the pregnancy is viable, or in other words, if we can see a heart beating". Carlisle met my eyes as I let out an involuntary gasp. "I'm sure you understand, Edward, we need to find out all we can about this baby".

I nodded, my eyes closing as I pressed Bella's palm to my lips and kissed it tenderly. I found myself praying, to the God that I had been introduced to by my parents, one hundred years before, to the God I had cursed and turned my back on, weeks after my transformation to a vampire, to that same God that I had begged, only months before, to keep Bella safe, to protect her, to always cherish her, just as I did. Just as I always would. "Please", I found myself pleading silently to Him. "Please, let this baby be healthy, this baby conceived in love, please allow us to give everything we're able to give, all the love we can give. Please, please don't take this miracle away".

"Edward?" I opened my eyes and met Bella's gaze. "Are you okay?"

"I'm more than okay", I whispered to her. "Let's have this sonogram done, Bella. What do you say? Let's meet our baby".

Maxolon was one of the wonder drugs of the 20th century; perhaps not as important as penicillin, discovered in the 1940's, but, for the next 48 hours, I was incredibly grateful for its invention. I administered regular doses through Bella's intravenous line every six hours and kept the fluids running at a steady rate. Despite my threats to find Bella a bedpan, I did allow her to get up, assisting her to the toilet when needed. Although she did admit on these occasions to feeling slightly nauseous, there were no further bouts of vomiting. I began giving her sips of water on Monday morning, which she thankfully kept down, and then experimented with half a slice of toast a few hours later. It took Bella 20 minutes to actually eat it, with tiny mouse-like bites, but she also managed to tolerate it. I knew that it was the maxolon that was keeping the nausea at bay, rather than the fact that Bella actually felt better, but whatever the reason I was grateful that there was something, however miniscule, in her stomach.

I remembered from my Harvard days, during the six weeks of intensive theory on obstetrics and gynaecology, that pregnancy-related morning sickness usually dissipated around the 12 week mark. That meant that Bella had another two weeks to endure. I also recalled something about a small amount of pregnancies – perhaps 2 - where nausea and vomiting continued right up until the birth. I hoped beyond hope that Bella would not fall within that 2.

I found myself wishing that I had paid more attention during those lectures in my second semester of fourth year, but at the time I had had next to no interest in the topic. My big interest was surgery, and I had very quickly come to the painful conclusion that my extremely low tolerance for human blood made that dream an impossibility. During my second stint at medical school, I had skipped the lectures on obstetrics and gynaecology altogether, relying on my previous lecture notes to get me through the exams. Why hadn't I paid attention??

Monday evening, she kept down a bowl of Esme's vegetable soup, and I was positive that some color actually returned to her pale face. I slowed down the rate on her IV fluid and halved the maxolon dosage. By Tuesday morning she was begging me to remove the cannula.

"Please, Edward, it makes me sick to look at it. I'll keep on eating – I promise. Just take the damned thing out!"

I struggled to hold back a smile. "Bella, you're feeling better because of the medication. If I take out the cannula I'll have to give you an injection every six hours". I paused as her eyes widened. "Is that really what you want?"

"No", her voice was subdued. "Forget I asked".

"Are you sure about that?" I couldn't resist teasing her just a little; the color that had gradually begun to return to her face had lifted my spirits enormously. "I vaguely remember practising intramuscular injections on sponges, back in medical school. I'm sure I could manage . . ."

"Oh, just leave the stupid old cannula for now", Bella muttered grumpily, and I chuckled as I bent down and kissed her brow tenderly.

"If you insist".

Because Bella was keeping down sips of water and managing to tolerate light foods, Carlisle ceased both the intravenous fluids and the medication on Tuesday night. "Let's see how you go", he told her as I watched him remove the cannula from the back of her hand. "Don't be afraid to eat and drink, just like you've been doing. Come and see me tomorrow afternoon at the hospital, and we'll arrange that sonogram for you".

Her gaze met mine and I could read the fear in her eyes. I reached over to take her hand in mine. "It's all right, love". I spoke gently. "I won't leave your side, I promise".

I insisted that Bella finish every mouthful of her dinner that night. She was very quiet, her mood subdued as we watched some television before going to bed. By the time I came to lie down beside her, after speaking to Carlisle briefly on the phone, she was fast asleep, her breathing slow and even. I adjusted the quilt to cover her bare shoulders, my throat tightening almost painfully as I studied her flushed face, now peaceful in sleep. My whole being ached for her, for what she had been through during the past week without my knowledge or support, and for what lay ahead. I could not deny the joy I was feeling at the prospect of being a father, of holding my own child in my arms, watching him or her grow, showering that child with unconditional love. And yet, how could I express that joy when I knew that Bella did not feel the same way? This was not the future she had longed for. A year from now, Bella had envisioned herself as a strong and beautiful vampire, immortal just as I was. The reality was now very, very different, and it was undeniably my fault. I sighed heavily and lay down beside her, my fingers gently stroking her long dark hair. I knew without a doubt that Bella would forgive me, but I wondered if I could forgive myself.


	10. Chapter 10

10. Edward's POV: **An Introduction**

I reversed into the first available parking space, applied the handbrake and shoved the gearstick into "park". As I switched off the ignition, an audible gasp came from beside me. I turned quickly, and then followed Bella's gaze. The hospital loomed before us – a second home for Carlisle, a cause of terror for Bella. I reached across and took Bella's hand in mine. Her eyes were wide, her breathing much too fast, as she stared up at the brick building in front of us. Her fingers tightened around mine and she closed her eyes for a brief moment.

"I hate hospitals". Her voice was barely a whisper, and I lifted her hand to my lips, kissing it gently. "I always associate them with pain, and lots and lots of needles".

"Not this time". I shook my head. "There's nothing to be frightened of today, Bella. Besides, I told you, I won't leave your side – remember?"

"Edward . . .". Her voice trembled uncontrollably as she finally turned to me. "Would . . . would you hate me if I . . . if I told you that there's a part of me that wishes this was all some big mistake?"

"No", I managed to smile as I brushed light fingers down her cheek. "I would understand, Bella, truly I would. I know how . . ." I struggled for the right word ". . .how _anxious _you are – for immortality. Not that I understand _that _part!" She smiled in return and I held her face gently in both of mine. "If this really is happening, then we're going to have to put those plans on hold, for at least a year".

"Oh crap!" she muttered. "I'm going to have to turn 20, aren't I?"

"I'll be 108 next year; I'll still have 88 years on you, love".

Bella glanced once again at the foreboding walls in front of us, and then sighed heavily. "Lets do this", she spoke resignedly.

"Good idea". I held her hand tightly as we approached the hospital entrance. I could feel her body trembling beside mine so I let go of her hand and wrapped my arm around her waist instead. Carlisle was waiting for us, a reassuring smile on his face which did nothing for either of us, and dutifully escorted us to the third floor of the maternity wing. I fought to keep my own nerves in check as we passed an ominous-looking doorway displaying a sign that read "Birthing Unit". I had never been to this section of the hospital before; the majority of my visits to Carlisle took place in the ER or on the general wards. I suppose to everybody else this maternity wing appeared cheerful and welcoming, with its assorted colorful posters portraying very pregnant women, newborn babies, the different stages of labor, the many different positions recommended for birthing, and brand-new mothers, breastfeeding their tiny, totally dependent newborns. Quite simply, I was terrified. This was a world totally unfamiliar to me, a world I had never envisaged myself belonging to. A father? How on earth was I going to deal with this? How did I even begin?

Through these terrifying thoughts, I was vaguely aware of Carlisle opening a door for us and ushering us through. The room was bare, a hard bench covered by a thin white sheet and a small computer-like machine beside it. Carlisle gestured for Bella to lie on the make-shift bed, pulling up a stool so that I could sit beside her. He reached over to switch on the machine as I took a seat next to Bella, my hand enclosing hers and squeezing comfortingly.

"This uses ultrasound waves to allow us to look inside the uterus", he explained to Bella with a smile. "We can take measurements of the baby which will give us a more accurate date of delivery. It's too early to tell the sex of the baby, but at least we'll be able to determine if the pregnancy is … well, if it's liable to continue".

Beside me, Bella was nodding, her face devoid of all emotion. I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it tenderly. She must have been terrified, and yet she was doing a better job of hiding it than I was.

Carlisle was covering a probe-like appendage with some type of conductive gel. "You'll need to unbutton your jeans, Bella", he spoke softly.

As her hands went to the top button of her pants, I noticed the uncontrollable trembling of her fingers. She bit her lip and sent me a desperate glance. I reached across and quickly unbuttoned them myself, pulling down the short zipper and exposing her soft, flat abdomen.

"Don't stress, sweetheart", I whispered close to her ear. "I'm right here beside you. We'll get through this together".

She closed her eyes briefly and then nodded once, her gaze now fixed on my face.

Carlisle pressed the probe against Bella's abdomen, just above her pubic bone. Almost immediately an image popped up onto the screen, consisting of several different shapes and colors that tended to blend into each other – impossible to interpret. I narrowed my eyes, leaning closer to the screen and striving to make sense of the dynamic image before me. One glance at Bella's face told me that she was just as baffled.

"There we are". Carlisle spoke softly, and when I looked across at him I was surprised to see excitement in his eyes. I turned once again towards the screen – and froze.

Yes, there were greys, whites and blacks that came together in a confusing image, different-sized shapes that meant nothing at all to me; and yet, as clear as crystal, distinct beyond all doubt, there it was – a four-chambered heart that beat as solidly as life itself, 148 beats per minute, blessedly normal for a 10 week old human embryo.

My jaw dropped, and I stared across at Carlisle, desperately wanting to hold onto the hope that had just flooded my entire insides. "Is it?" My voice was barely a whisper. "Is that a heartbeat?"

Carlisle's previously tense face broke into a huge grin, and he nodded. "Absolutely". He glanced down at Bella. "Congratulations, mom-to-be! There's your baby!"

I watched with wonder as Bella's gaze focused on the screen beside her. The confusion on her face slowly cleared, and her eyes widened as they fixed on the beating pulse of our baby's heart. The image before us gradually became clearer, and now I was able to make out arms, legs, head, and even tiny fingers and toes. I was incredulous – I had never in my entire existence experienced a moment such as this. I met Carlisle's eyes and he smiled at me, nodding slightly. My throat was obstructed, if I had been human I was positive the tears would have flowed unhindered, yet the joy I felt could never be surpassed. Our child was alive – he or she had a heartbeat – and I was going to be a father! A role I had not craved in 90 years.

Suddenly, in the space of a fleeting moment, all of my doubts and anxieties disappeared. I no longer worried about my ability to fulfil the role of father. Somehow I knew, without a doubt, that I could do this. _Bella and I could do this! _I would be the best role model imaginable for my son, or my daughter. I would be there – 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Compassionate, understanding, stern – when it was needed – and always, always loving. I would strive to be the best father I could possibly be. And Bella would be the perfect mother.

Finally, across the image of our child on the computer screen, my eyes met hers. Tears rolled slowly down her cheeks, and I took both of her hands in mine, pressing them against my silent heart. "He's okay", she whispered softly, and I nodded, smiling. "He's ours, Edward. I love him already!"

"So do I", I swallowed with difficulty. "I think . . . I'm sorry, love, but I really think he's a she".

Bella squeezed her eyes until they were almost closed and peered closer at the screen. "What can you see that I can't?"

"Nothing". I smiled across at her. "Just a feeling. I want her to be just like you". I bent down and pressed my lips against hers. "I love you so much, Isabella Cullen".

"Me too". We laughed together, and Carlisle finished all of the technical data as we stared into each other's eyes. According to the ultrasound results, our baby was 11 weeks gestation and was due in late June. He or she had a heartbeat, a future, and was, without a doubt in the world, an absolute miracle.


	11. Chapter 11

11

Edward's POV: **Interlude**

I drove home, one hand on the steering wheel, the other wrapped tightly around Bella's waist. I wanted to keep her close, needed to feel her body against mine. During the past 22 months we had shared so many special moments – most of them positive, some painful and difficult to reflect upon – and yet, I could not recall ever feeling as _close _to Bella as I did at this very moment. Our wedding night, an unforgettable consummation of the love we felt for each other, came very, very close, but these emotions – so strong and binding – exceeded even that special moment when we had climaxed together, our minds, our bodies, our souls – as one.

There was a God – doubt no longer existed in my mind. I had seen evidence of His existence, of His miracle, with my own eyes. Our child, conceived against all belief and all odds, was my proof. He or she thrived, with a strong and resilient heartbeat, providing me at last with hope for an afterlife.

"I have a question". Bella suddenly spoke up, crashing through my silent soliloquy. "Why do they call it morning sickness, when it actually lasts all freaking day?"

"Good question", I murmured as I turned into the driveway that led to our cottage. "Some day, I'll run that one past Carlisle. In the meantime, do you need me to stop, or can you hold on for another three minutes?"

"No, I'm okay", she shook her head. "Just a little queasy – I don't feel like throwing up".

I squeezed her hand. "Almost home, love. Think about something nice – anything that makes you smile. Think about just how much I love you".

Her pale face lit up with her beautiful smile, and I caught my breath, unashamedly lovestruck.

I opened the car door for her and reached in, taking her hand to steady her as she climbed out. "Edward, really, I'm okay. I'm not an invalid".

"Just being a gentleman; it's got nothing to do with you being pregnant".

"Liar", she muttered under her breath.

"I heard that".

The house was silent as I pushed the front door open. As was my habit, I immediately picked up the remote control to switch on the stereo. Inxs's _'Never Tear Us Apart'_ filled the room, and as I still held Bella's hand in mine, I gently pulled her close to my chest, wrapping my arms around her. We swayed to the ballad, and Bella rested her head against my shoulder, her arms around my neck.

"Feeling better?" I whispered, and she nodded. "Do you want to lie down for a while? You look tired".

"Only if you lie down with me. But I don't want to sleep".

"Isabella Cullen", I spoke disapprovingly, holding back the laughter. "What are you suggesting?"

To reply, she reached up on her toes and pressed her warm lips to mine. I took her face in both my hands and kissed her back, my fingers gently stroking her hair. Her mouth took on a new urgency and I responded, after a moment moving my lips down towards her throat, her collarbone, her neck, to allow her to breathe. Without thinking, I reached around her waist and pressed my hand against the small of her back, pulling her up close against my aroused body. My mouth returned to hers, and as she moaned softly I suddenly became aware of my erection, hard against her stomach. I instantly moved back, breaking our kiss and pressing my lips against the top of her head.

"I'm sorry, love", I was breathless. "I didn't think".

"Sorry for what?" Her expression was confused.

"I got carried away, I …"

"I wanted you to get carried away", Bella spoke quietly. "Can't we get carried away together?"

I stared down at her, my eyes obviously showing my alarm. "Bella – we … we can't …"

"Why not?"

"Its . . . you're . . ." I was struggling here. _"You know!"_

"Edward, you're not making any sense".

I exhaled slowly. "Bella, I don't think . . . I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt the baby".

Her voice was very calm. "You will not hurt me, or our baby. Edward, it's perfectly safe – all the books say so".

"Since when did you start reading books on pregnancy?" I had her there, and she knew it. "Aha!!"

"Okay, all right, I haven't – yet. But it's a well known fact, Edward. _Everybody _knows it!"

"Bella" I sighed, "you're very fragile right now, and . . ."

"I am _not _fragile, I am pregnant!"

"It's the same thing!"

"No, it's not. This isn't the 19th century, Edward, it's the 21st. I suppose that next you'll be telling me I have to stay hidden away in this house until after the baby's born, because you're mortified that someone might see my huge, pregnant tummy!"

I frowned. "I'm not _that _old fashioned".

"You could have fooled me!"

I opened my mouth, prepared to give back just as good as she gave, but Bella's lips were suddenly on mine, and I completely forgot what I was about to say. My body was responding, whilst my mind was valiantly trying to intercede. Needless to say, my body was winning.

"Bella", I panted as I pulled away from her, only to remove my lips from hers, brushing them carelessly against the top of her breast. "Please, sweetheart, lets think this through".

"Let's not". Her hands were suddenly unbuttoning my jeans, slowly pulling down the zipper, and I gasped as her hand wrapped around my erection, my willpower dissolving within seconds.

"Oh, Jesus . . .", I reached down and pulled her skirt up to her waist, my fingers gentle against her skin as I pulled her panties down. She was aroused, wet and ready for me, but still I hesitated, unsure of my ability to hold back, to be as gentle as required, so as not to hurt Bella or our baby. I longed to plunge into her, to bring her to orgasm within moments, but I managed to pull my mouth from hers, to press my lips against her throat, to whisper how much I loved her, and to hope that, for right now, that was enough.

"Give me your cell phone".

The request from Bella was unexpected. "What?"

"I mean it, Edward. I'm calling Carlisle".

I was nonplussed. "And . . . why, exactly?"

"He's a doctor". Bella shrugged. "I'll ask him if it's safe to . . ."

"The hell you will!" I stared down at her beautiful, flushed face. "I'll be damned if I'm going to wait for Carlisle's approval to . . ."

"Then kiss me, and shut up". The smile was one of victory, the tone of her voice jubilant, and I surrendered, my fingers going to the buttons on her blouse, then unfastening the lace bra. "You are an unforgivable wretch", I murmured as my hand reached between her legs and began to stroke, ever so gently. "You are very turned on right now, I can tell".

"So are you", Bella's voice was husky, and I closed my eyes tightly, determined to take this slowly and carefully. "Please, Edward, make love to me – I can't wait any longer".

Slowly, I lowered her to the floor, the plush carpet soft beneath us. My mouth was on hers as my fingers brought her closer to her climax. "You have to tell me", I whispered as I gently used my knee to push her thighs apart. "If I'm not gentle enough, if I'm hurting you. Promise me, Bella".

"I promise", she gasped as I entered her, and I paced myself, carefully thrusting forward, using all of my self-control, just as I had during our first intimate experience three months before, determined not to hurt her, not to cause any trauma. "Is this okay?" I managed to ask whilst my mouth devoured her breasts. I was vaguely aware of her urgent nod as she matched my rhythm, her fingertips gripping my shoulders tightly, and I could feel her orgasm building towards a climax, her breathing fast and shallow. "Oh God, oh God.!"

I held her tightly against me as she climaxed, and within seconds I was releasing my own pent-up fluids, my hands braced tightly against the floor as I emptied myself into her. Experience, and extreme guilt, had taught me not to have my hands on Bella at this precise, uncontrolled moment. Her heart thudded erratically against my own silent chest, and I buried my face into her neck, gasping for air that was no longer required – old habits die hard.

I stayed, buried deep inside of her, until her heartbeat and respirations had somewhat returned to normal. I pulled away reluctantly, pressing my lips against hers as she sighed deeply, a smile of satisfaction on her glowing face.

"You are . . . dangerous", I growled softly. "You set me up, didn't you. And all this time, I thought _I _was the monster".

"You give me way too much credit, Edward". Her smile widened. "I was only following your lead".

My jaw dropped as my eyes widened and she laughed, her brown eyes teasing as she reached up to stroke my face. "There's a positive in all of this, Edward. I feel _so _much better!"

I lifted one eyebrow. "So . . . this is the answer to your morning sickness – is that what you're trying to tell me?"

"I think so. In fact . . . " she paused dramatically. "I can feel it coming on again . . ."

"I'll bet you can", I muttered as I rolled her gently on top of me. "Well, we can't have you throwing up, now can we . . ."

"Definitely not", her lips were hard against mine and my body was quick to respond. "Make me feel better, Dr Cullen".

"I'm working on it". My hands and my mouth were suddenly busy, and somehow – without either of us noticing – the afternoon slipped into evening, followed by a moonless night and a breaking dawn.


	12. Chapter 12

**12. Edward's POV: ****Hormones**

"And you said there was no chance of it!" I cringed inwardly at the scoffing tone and the irritating laughter. "Thank heavens Mike was right there that day, ready to catch her. Imagine if she'd hit the floor, in her condition! Of course, I was the first one to know, the first one to notice. As soon as . . ."

"Is Bella coming?" I was aware that I was being rude, interrupting her with my brisk tone. Karen Newton always seemed to bring out the worst in me. I had pulled up outside the sporting goods store at precisely 12 noon, when Bella was supposed to finish work, and had groaned loudly to myself when the glass door had slid open, Mike's mother bounding out, a huge grin on her face as she rushed towards my car. I wondered idly if the six inch heels that she wore would perhaps trip her up before she could reach me, resulting in severe head trauma, unconsciousness and inevitable brain death. I forced back the vengeful smile, shoved the delightful fantasy out of my mind, and pressed the button to roll down the window. Hopefully that would stop her from opening the passenger door and jumping in beside me.

"She's just getting her bag," Karen Newton leaned inside the open window, and the overpowering scent of her musk perfume had me close to gagging. "Edward, you are such a rascal! I heard the news yesterday from Angela Weber's mother, though of course I've known for quite some time now, even with you denying it and all. Now I want to reassure you that I'm not working Bella too hard. I'm making her take a break every hour, and I've told her she is not to climb the ladder, or to pick up anything too heavy. You mustn't worry about her when she's here, Edward."

"I appreciate that, Mrs Newton." I forced myself to be pleasant. "I know she's in good hands . . ."

"Now, Bella tells me she's 14 weeks along – is that right? That would mean a June baby? Oh but that's just wonderful! A summer baby!" Her face dropped. "Oh dear, wait a minute – what was I thinking? It's absolutely awful to be close to giving birth in the hot weather! I should know; Mike was born in August and . . ."

"The cottage has air conditioning, I'll make certain she's comfortable."

"Well that's something I suppose. Still . . ." I glanced over at the door once again. Where the hell was she? "It can get quite humid here, even as early as June, and she can't spend _all _day inside".

"Mrs Newton," I sighed, unable to stop myself, "She'll be fine, believe me. I'll take very good care of her.

Both Bella and I had known that this would happen: as soon as we shared our news it would spread like wildfire. The gossipmongers in Forks were having the time of their lives right now. Number one on the speculation list was that Bella was further on in her pregnancy than what she was stating. I had read Jessica Stanley's mind just yesterday as I had passed her outside the drugstore. _I KNEW it! I knew they had to get married!_ _Everybody guessed, as soon as they told people they were getting married right after graduation. What did they take us for – idiots? Now I suppose the baby will be premature! Yes, of course! I can't wait to tell Lauren . . ._

I had hissed under my breath and glared at her. _My God, what's wrong with him! It's as if he can read my freakin' mind!_

Number two was that we were handing the baby over to Carlisle and Esme as soon as it was born. _Jesus, they're too young to bring up a kid! Hasn't she ever heard of the Pill? Doesn't he know what condoms are for? Anyway, that doctor and his wife have adopted those other freaks; what's another one? _That had been the contents of Eric Yorkie's mind, as I'd passed him in the lecture hall at college yesterday. I had growled at him, my eyes blazing into his for a brief moment before looking away in disgust. _Jesus Christ! If looks could kill I'd be six friggin' feet under! _

I realized that Karen Newton was still prattling on, as I brought my attention back to her. Something about fathers changing diapers, and how she thought this was a gigantic step forward for mankind. And then, at last, the door opened and Bella emerged. I quickly turned the key in the ignition, the radio blaring to life and drowning out the irritating words. "Sorry Mrs Newton," I yelled over the music. "Have to get Bella home so that she can rest."

"Oh, of course, of course". I grinned with relief as Bella's beautiful face replaced Karen's at the passenger window. She opened the car door and jumped in, glancing at me warily as I continued to chuckle.

"What's the joke? What did I do?"

"Nothing," I leaned across and kissed her warmly. "I was just incredibly rude to that boring, self-absorbed woman."

"Oh, she's not that bad. She's very protective over me suddenly."

"She was telling me all about it, don't worry." I drove away from the kerb, my right hand holding hers on my lap.

"I'll bet she was. I wish we could have waited a bit longer before telling everyone."

"I know, but we couldn't Bella. We were pushing our luck leaving it this long." I glanced down at the small rise just above her pubic bone, the button on her jeans left undone. Our baby was making its presence known.

"You are so beautiful." I released her hand for a moment to place mine on her growing bump. "You are absolutely glowing, do you know that?"

"I am not," she muttered, self-conscious.

I laughed again. "As beautiful as you are, you can't walk around with your clothes unzipped and unbuttoned. I think its time for a shopping trip with Alice. She's been wanting to buy you some maternity clothes all week. It can't be comfortable wearing clothes that are getting too tight, love."

"Okay, but I'm not letting her buy me huge, ugly floral things with bows and ribbons."

"Fair enough. Knowing Alice she'll probably go for the sexy range – bikinis, midriff tops, silk lingerie – so I don't think you need to worry." She nodded and I took her hand again, lifting it to my lips to kiss it tenderly.

During the months that followed, there were many memorable occasions that would remain with me for eternity. The first time Bella felt our baby move when she was twenty weeks; she had gasped, her eyes filling with tears as she had pulled my hand from the steering wheel of the car and pressed it tightly against her stomach. I had slammed on the brakes and met her gaze, awestruck, as something faint but noticeable had fluttered against my hand. The many nights when I lay facing her, my cool hands on her belly, smiling as our baby kicked and rolled underneath my fingers. The sonogram that Carlisle carried out at 32 weeks, when we had both watched – absolutely fascinated – as our baby sucked away furiously on its thumb. The beautiful, unforgettable image of coming home late one night when Bella was 35 weeks and seeing her on the couch, fast asleep, one hand resting on her huge belly, a peaceful smile on her lovely face.

And as expected, there were also moments that were not so good. Telling Rosalie about the pregnancy had been traumatic – for both Rosalie and Bella. I wanted very badly to be understanding and compassionate with Rosalie, knowing that this was _her _dream, not Bella's, but the harsh, uncaring words that had been thrown at Bella, hurting her deeply, had erased my compassion and I had reacted with rage instead. The afternoon that Bella had returned from work, exhausted and aching when she was 15 weeks pregnant, and had snapped at me before going to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She had come out seconds later, tears streaming down her white face, almost incoherent as she told me that she was bleeding. I had made her lie down, elevate her feet and had held her through the hours that followed as she cried, terrified of losing the baby. Yes, there had been bad moments, but they had passed.

It was a very unpredictable time – Bella's hormones were reacting crazily to the pregnancy, which Carlisle reassured me was perfectly normal – and I never knew what I would find when I returned home to Bella. At times she would be in high spirits, planning out the second bedroom as a nursery, discussing colors and designs with me. Other times I would come home and she would excitedly show me a tiny item that she had bought for the baby, usually blue, _because girls can wear blue too, _she'd tell me often, _but you can't dress a boy in pink! _Some days I would walk through the door and she would greet me with open arms and frantic lips, not satisfied until I had taken her upstairs and made slow and careful love to her. I had to admit it, I looked forward to those. The days I hated the most was when I would open the door and she would be crumpled on the couch or on the floor, sobbing heartbreakingly, unable to tell me what was wrong or why she was crying. _Just the hormones, _Carlisle told me time and time again, but that didn't stop the pain I inevitably experienced whenever I walked in on this scene. I would pick her up and cradle her close to my chest, sooth her with gentle words and rock her slowly back and forth, the way a father would comfort a child. Later, when I tried to question her, she would always have the same explanation – _I don't know, Edward. I just felt really sad, but I don't know why! _Yes, hormones during pregnancy were volatile things. I didn't know whether to be grateful for them, or hate them with a vengeance.

We reached the 36 week mark, amazingly unscathed. This one night, I cooked her dinner while she paced the living room, unsettled and irritable. When I placed the plate of ravioli in front of her she ignored it, scowling at the television instead.

"Bella," I brought my face close to hers. "What is it, love? You told me you were hungry".

"I was but now I'm not." She stood up again and resumed her pacing. I noticed one hand pressed tightly against the small of her back.

"Are you in pain? Please, Bella, tell me what's going on."

"It's not painful, it's just a backache," she spoke wearily. "I think the baby's resting on my spine. I'm sorry, Edward, I think I'll go to bed."

"Don't be sorry." I walked over to her and pulled her close against my chest. "You need a good night's rest. I'll be up in ten minutes."

"Okay." She managed a smile. "Love you."

"Love you, sweetheart". I watched as she walked slowly up the stairs, and my silent heart ached with everything I felt for her.


	13. Chapter 13

13

13. Bella's POV: **Imminent Arrival**

I awoke just before the breaking dawn, alone in the king-sized bed, Edward's absence apparent by the emptiness my hands encountered as I turned to reach for him. I sighed and closed my eyes again. Unlike other nights recently, I had just slept undisturbed for nine hours. Yet, for some unfathomable reason, I did not feel refreshed and alert. My body ached, particularly my lower back, and my eyes felt sore and grainy, as if I had tossed restlessly during the night instead of having just had nine hours of peaceful, dreamless sleep. Commonsense told me to allow myself to drift away again, perhaps another hour or two was all I needed, but I was suddenly aware of my heart racing inside my chest, a strange and unknown fear crawling up my throat, from the pit of my stomach, and more than anything else, I wanted Edward. I needed him – right now!

I sat up slowly and pulled back the covers, slipping my feet into my warm, fluffy Elmo slippers. The baby kicked vigorously just below my ribs and I placed a hand over my stomach, unable to quash the rising terror that was threatening to blossom into a full blown panic attack any minute now. I had no idea why I was feeling this way; I knew it was unreasonable. Still, I stood up, determined to find Edward, one hand pressing firmly against my lower spine where an unexpected sharp pain had suddenly taken hold.

I held my breath, anticipating the pain to travel around to the front of my abdomen, just like all of the pregnancy books had said it would, when you were in early labor. After a moment, however, it subsided and I released the pent up breath, relieved that it wasn't yet _**that time!**_ I was nowhere near ready; besides, the baby had another four weeks of growing to do before it made its presence known.

After a ten minute hot shower, and two more gripping pains in my lower back which lasted a minute each, I struggled with a pair of pink leggings and a short black maternity dress. I pulled my wet hair into a loose ponytail, smiling at my reflection as I glimpsed that still unfamiliar cleavage visible just above the neckline of the dress. Having been a B cup all of my adolescent life, I was determined to enjoy the brief but definitely welcome gift which came with pregnancy – a C cup at last! And cleavage? A miracle, to say the least! Even if it _**did **_disappear after nursing a baby, I was planning on enjoying it while it lasted. After all, it wasn't as if I was ever going to be pregnant again.

I was dressed, my teeth brushed, ready to go downstairs to find Edward, and yet I lingered. My hand rested on my stomach, my thoughts focusing on the tiny baby inside, almost ready to join this world. A boy or a girl? Did I really care? Would the arrival of this baby cause me to change my plans? Would I give up my dream to spend eternity with Edward, to become immortal, a vampire until the end of time? _**No! **_As much as I had finally come to accept this pregnancy, the prospect of becoming a mother at such a young age, the thought of having somebody totally dependent on me for years to come, I knew I would never ever change my mind. Edward would always be my first love, the most important person in my life. I would follow him anywhere – anywhere at all. He would be a wonderful father, the perfect role model for any child. I knew this like I knew my own name. And yet, he would always be _**my **_Edward. First and foremost.

"Bella?" His voice came from the kitchen downstairs, and I caught my breath as another sharp pain shot through the bottom of my spine. This time, it had me clenching my hands into fists as I struggled to keep my breathing even as my heart began to race again with fear. What was this? What was going on? The pain wasn't in my stomach, for Heaven's sake, so it wasn't labor. And if it wasn't labor, then what? I counted to seventy before the pain began to subside, and I took a deep breath, forcing a calm and relaxed expression to settle upon my face as Edward's footsteps sounded in the hallway just outside the bedroom.

His head appeared around the doorway, an expression of surprise on his face as he saw I was dressed and ready for the day. "That was quick" he muttered, as if to himself. "Ten minutes ago I practically shoved you out of the bed onto the floor, and you still didn't stir". My favorite crooked smile appeared on his face only briefly, and then was replaced by a look of concern. He walked towards me, and I struggled with a lump in my throat as he reached for my hands, squeezing them tightly within his own. "Bella? I can read you like a book – what's wrong?"

"Nothing" I shrugged. "Just … tired, I think".

"You slept like a log all night". Edward watched me suspiciously. "Tell me what's going on, or else I'll have to go looking for my weapons of torture, to get the truth out of you". His arms were around me, pulling me gently against his chest, and I rested my head there, my hands clutching at his black t-shirt. Another pain suddenly gripped me without any warning, and I could feel my body tensing automatically, my breath caught somewhere in my throat. Edward could indeed read me like a book. He pulled away and looked down into my eyes, his expression wary. "Bella, is something happening? Tell me, sweetheart".

I shook my head slowly. "No, its . . . nothing's happening. I just . . . my back's still sore, I must have slept funny".

Edward wasn't buying it. His eyes tightened in an expression I knew only too well. "Bella, you didn't stir all night. You slept for eight or nine hours, at least". He paused, and his arms tightened around my waist. "Are you having contractions, Bella? What is it you're not telling me here"?

"No!" Something snapped inside of me, and I pushed him away with my hands, frustrated and angry, but at who or what I had no idea. "I'm not . . . nothing is happening! I just have a sore back, that's all!" I sank down onto the bed, allowing my weary head to rest in my hands. "Just, leave me alone, please! I want you to go away!"

Nothing could be further from the truth, and Edward must have sensed this. After a moment of silence I felt his weight as he sat beside me on the bed. As his fingers wrapped around mine, a sob escaped my throat and unwanted tears rose in my eyes. "I'm here", he whispered softly. "I'm not going anywhere, so when you want to talk, just say the word".

I brought his hand up to my lips and kissed it, my tears falling as I tried unsuccessfully to gain control. "I'm sorry", my voice trembled. "I didn't mean to yell at you. I just … I'm so scared right now".

"Tell me what you're scared of".

"Everything"! My eyes met his. "I woke up this morning with this . . . this feeling that something wasn't right. My heart was racing and I . . . all I knew was that I needed you here beside me".

"And here I am". Edward smiled and tightened his hand over mine. "I'm not going anywhere, love, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me for an awfully long time". I closed my eyes as his other hand pressed against my stomach, and almost immediately the baby kicked, bringing a smile to Edward's lips. "She's active this morning. She knows she's stuck with me, too".

This time, the pain that gripped my lower back was ten times worse than before. I gasped, one hand digging into my spine, as if to drive the hurt away, and the other clenching into a cruel grip around Edward's fingers. I stood up suddenly, thinking that perhaps straightening my spine would relieve the agony, and Edward quickly stood beside me, his arms supporting me as I fought against the compulsion to bend over, tears of pain burning my eyes. I was aware of Edward's hand resting on my stomach, and I struggled to breathe, to swallow the pain and to regain control of myself. I didn't want to worry Edward – the concern all over his face was already too much for me to bear. "I think . . . I need to lie down for a while". I managed to say, but Edward was shaking his head.

"No, I think you're going to have a baby". His voice was very calm, and the panic flared up inside of me.

"Edward, these aren't contractions! They're in my back, nowhere else. All the books say I'll feel the pain in my stomach. I think I hurt my back yesterday when I . . ."

"Bella, I've had my hand on your stomach for the past five minutes. Your uterus is contracting – I can feel it under my hand. I think I'd better get you to the hospital".

"No! Edward, it's not time! I've got four more weeks to go!"

"Babies come when they're ready, love. Not when it's time".

I shook my head desperately, my heart thumping inside my chest, unable to catch my breath. A full blown panic attack – recognisable but unstoppable. "Edward – don't . . . don't leave me!"

"Never". He pulled me close and cradled me against his hard chest, his hands gently stroking my hair back from my face. "Don't be afraid, Bella. I will never, ever leave you. I promise. Everything is going to be all right".

"But . . . they're not contractions. Not yet".

"Okay". Edward soothed me with his lips pressing against my brow. "Let's just wait and see. They'll either stop, or they'll get stronger and closer together". I nodded and held onto him tightly, willing the pains to go away and leave me alone. I wasn't ready for this. I was nowhere near ready! I still had four weeks to prepare – four weeks to come to terms with a future very different from the one that I had mapped out for myself many months before. It couldn't be happening now . . . could it?

I did not have long to wait before my tentative question was answered. The next contraction took a firm hold on me – and this time the pain ripped through my lower spine and around to the front of my stomach, resembling a sharp, debilitating period cramp, times one hundred. I bit down on my lip to stop myself from crying out, but my hands clenched tightly around Edward's shoulders as I tried not to hold my breath.

Edward's hands were immediately soothing as they cupped my face, his golden eyes gazing anxiously down into mine. "Bella, breathe!" He reminded me firmly. "Don't stop now. Come on, you can do this – breathe all the way through for me".

"I … I can't!"

"Yes, you can!" My fingers dug mercilessly into his biceps as I concentrated on taking slow, even breaths. As the pain began to fade, Edward leaned down and kissed me gently on the lips. "That's my girl. You can do this, Bella".

I pressed a shaking hand hard against my mouth and pulled away from him, suddenly aware that my stomach was going to lose its contents any second now. "I'm going to be sick", I managed. Within three seconds I was in Edward's arms and in the bathroom, thankfully beside the toilet as I began to vomit. He held me close, one hand against my brow, his other arm securely around me until I was spent. I felt the cool, soothing touch of a wet flannel wiping my hot face and pressing against the back of my neck, and I leant back against him, allowing Edward to take my weight.

"Better?"

"Yes". I closed my eyes wearily. "I'm sorry, Edward".

"Shhh". His lips pressed against the side of my temple. "We need to get you to the hospital. Tell me when you're ready, and I'll bring the car around".

"Just . . ." I took a deep breath. "Just give me a minute to brush my teeth".

"Bella", Edward began. "You don't need . . ."

"One minute", I begged him. "By the time you go pick up my bag from the bedroom and grab the car keys, I'll be ready – I promise".

I could see the conflict in Edward's eyes as he helped me to stand. "I'll be exactly 60 seconds", he told me. "Don't close this door, Bella, I mean it."

"I won't".

He was gone in a flash, and I leant heavily against the wash basin as yet another contraction surged through me.


	14. Chapter 14

14. Edward's POV: **Welcome**

I knew from the ragged breathing coming from the bathroom that Bella was having another contraction. As fast as I could I grabbed up my cell phone, the car keys and Bella's overnight bag, only to drop all three items as a muffled scream reached my ears.

"Bella, I'm here!" I raced to the bathroom and shoved open the door. Panic overwhelmed me as I took in the picture before me: Bella bent over, in obvious pain, a damp stain spreading across her pink leggings and down each leg. She looked up at me, and the terror in her eyes stopped me in my tracks.

"Edward? Something's happening!" Her voice trembled, and as I hurried towards her I could see her entire body convulsing in fear. She sank onto the floor, in a squatting position, and I crouched down in front of her, my arms reaching out to enfold her in a comforting embrace.

"It's all right," I spoke soothingly. "Your water broke, Bella, that's all. It's just another sign that you're in labor. Don't be frightened, love. I'm going to take good care of you, I promise."

"Something's pushing down . . .!"

"No, its not." I hugged her close. "Just breathe through for me, sweetheart. We'll be at the hospital in ten minutes."

"No! It's too late!" To my horror, she began to bear down, the exertion showing vividly on her face. "It's coming, Edward!"

"Bella, no! Stop pushing!" I grasped her hands and met her eyes, her expression frightened, mine determined. "Breathe through instead, come on Bella, do it for me! I don't want you to push!"

She let out a terrified sob, and I reached over to grab the cell phone, flipping it open and pressing "3" on the speed dial. It felt like an eternity, but was actually only four seconds before I heard Carlisle's voice on the other end.

"Edward? Is everything . . .?"

"Carlisle, I need your help!"

"Tell me!"

"Bella's in labor – I need you here!"

"Can you get her to the hospital? I'm . . ."

"No!" I closed my eyes, fighting against the panic rising inside of me. "She . . . she's pushing, Carlisle. I don't know if I have time!"

"All right," Carlisle's voice, as always, was calm and authoritive. "Tell her to do her best to ignore that urge to push, Edward. I'm on my way – I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay," I grasped Bella's hand as another contraction gripped her. "For Christ's sake, Carlisle, hurry!" I ended the call and focused all of my attention on Bella. "Sweetheart, listen to me, I don't want you to push right now – it's not time. Just breathe with me, breathe all the way through the contraction. I'm right here, Bella, I'll help you. We can do this together."

It was no use. She was pushing with all of her might, bearing down as the contraction peaked. I fought to regain my composure, terrified at the thought of delivering this baby, desperately praying for Carlisle to make it on time. She clung to me, her hands clenched around my shoulders, perspiration running down her face quicker than I could wipe it away with the wet flannel I still held in my left hand. I glanced down at her soaked pants and noticed blood was slowly spreading across the stain.

"Bella, listen to me," I strove to keep my voice calm. "We need to take these pants off. Your water's broken and . . ."

"I can't!" she gasped. "I don't . . ."

"I'll help you," I told her, and my hands went to her waist, gripping the pink leggings and gently easing them down, along with her underwear, tossing the soaked clothing onto the bathroom floor. Her black maternity top reached to just above her knees, and I could see the blood on her thighs, her legs slick with dampness. Suddenly my cell phone rang, and I snatched it up, identifying Carlisle's number as the return caller. "Tell me you're nearly here," I spoke tersely as Bella's grip tightened on my other hand. "She can't stop pushing, Carlisle!"

"Edward, I'm three minutes away. You need to have a look – if you can see the baby's head, encourage her to push. If you can't, do your best to get her to breathe through the contractions."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No! Come on Edward, get a grip!"

"Carlisle, I can't …." I broke off before I could speak the words that would panic Bella even more. _"I can't do this! I can't deliver a baby!" _Somebody had to be in control here, and I knew that somebody had to be me. Bella needed me now, more than ever, and I had no intention of letting her down. "I can handle it," I gritted my teeth as I spoke into the phone. "Don't worry Carlisle, it's under control."

"Good boy, Edward." Carlisle's voice was filled with relief. "Give me two minutes and I'll be there."

I snapped the cell phone closed and turned to Bella. She was breathing slowly, her eyes tightly closed, no doubt anticipating the next contraction. I took both of her small, trembling hands in mine and kissed them tenderly. "Now, listen to me," I spoke to her gently. "I have to look – to see if the baby's coming. From everything I've heard, first babies take a while so we still may have plenty of time . . ."

"No!!" She wrenched her hands from my grip and braced them against the bathroom floor as another contraction hit suddenly. _"There's no time!! It's coming!!" _Her legs were bent up, almost to her chest, and without waiting for her consent, I carefully lifted her dress up and parted her thighs.

Much later, I would not be able to explain the absolute calm that spread through my entire being, the wonder that gripped me and forced all of the panic out of my system in seconds, as I saw the tiny head of my child, covered in golden bronze fluff, slowly emerging from Bella's body. All I knew at that moment was that, after ninety years of believing I was nothing more than a monster, doomedto an eternity of hell, I had finally been blessed. An overwhelming confidence rushed through me, and I reached up to brush my fingers along Bella's face, smiling as she met my eyes.

"Okay, you can push," I nodded to her. "We're going to have a baby."

She shook her head wildly. "No, Edward! No, I can't do this, I can't . . ."

"Yes, you can."

"_Listen to me!" _She screamed suddenly, hysterical sobs beginning to tear from her throat. _"Why isn't anyone listening to me!"_

"Bella, stop!" I placed both hands around her face and forced her to look at me. "Do you trust me?"

Her breathing was ragged.

"Answer me, Bella. Do you trust me?"

"Y..yes." Tears ran down her face as she reached up to grab one of my hands with her own.

"Then listen to my voice and do what I say. Keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. We're going to do this together." She nodded, and I knew I had her back in control. "When the next contraction comes, I want you to push – just like you've been doing."

"Edward, please!" Bella's hands were clenched around mine so tightly that my fingers actually had more color than hers. Her eyes, wide with terror, were huge within her small, pale face. "I can't do this! I…I don't know what to do!"

"It's all right, silly, I do." I concentrated on making my voice calm and soothing. "Piece of cake, Bella. I'll talk you through it."

Was I fooling her? I had no idea whether or not my acting skills, or lack thereof, were convincing enough, but I was sure that I sensed a small release of tension in her grip. Her eyes never left mine, and I smiled reassuringly as the next contraction began.

"Here we go," I whispered. "Remember – we'll do it together."

"Oh, no! Oh, God!" The pain gripped her and she clenched her teeth together, a fresh sheen of perspiration breaking out on her forehead.

"Big breath in," I told her firmly. "Now hold it, and push down – hard as you can."

I could see the effort on her face as she bore down with all of her strength. When I looked again to check for progress, I could see the tiny head advancing even further. It was beginning to crown – that moment when the widest diameter of the baby's head was presenting – and some instinct, some long-forgotten university professor's words, had me reaching down quickly to press my fingers against the head, controlling and guiding its descent.

"Bella, stop!" I fought to keep the panic out of my voice as I saw that the baby's head was coming too quickly. Bella was going to tear – and badly – unless I could somehow coach her through the next few moments. "Stop pushing." I glanced up at her to see her watching me, listening . . . and obeying. She instantly held her breath again, no longer bearing down. "Good girl," I relaxed slightly. "Just blow, sweetheart. No more pushes. Small blows, all right? You're doing beautifully, Bella."

And she was. I watched, amazed, as Bella breathed our baby out, perfectly controlled, calm at last, until the entire head was out, and I was able to place a hand on either side, waiting patiently for the shoulders to rotate into a vertical alignment. Bella sank back against the bathroom wall, her eyes closing with exhaustion, her chest rising and falling with shallow, rapid breaths.

"Slow it down, love," I spoke gently. "The hard part's over. The baby's head is out. One last push when the next contraction comes, and he'll be in your arms."

She nodded weakly, and then her face began to contort with pain. "It's starting," she whispered fearfully, and I braced myself, waiting for both the contraction and Bella's push together to birth our baby.

"Downward pressure on the head, Edward, to release the anterior shoulder." The sound of Carlisle's calm, professional voice had me almost gasping with relief. I spoke without taking my eyes off Bella.

"Don't just stand there, Carlisle!" I let out a sharp, hysterical laugh. "Get over here!"

"I don't think so." My muscles tensed at his words. "You two seem to be doing just great on your own. I'll just observe."

My sharp retort was bitten back, as the expression on Bella's face warned me that the contraction was peaking.

"Push now, sweetheart," I told her, and very carefully used gentle force in a downwards motion until first one shoulder, then the other, was released. I struggled not to let go of the tiny, slippery body as it emerged seconds later. Covered in blood, smaller that what I had envisaged, our child was already opening its mouth to cry before I had even placed the tiny miracle on Bella's chest. I took her trembling hand and gently wrapped her arm around the baby, then I bent down and pressed my lips against her brow. "Congratulations, mom," I smiled as my eyes met hers. "We have a daughter."

"Oh!" she whispered, and the expression of awe on her pale, exhausted face caused my throat to clench shut with indescribable emotion. Her fingers tenderly stroked the golden fluff on our baby's head, and tears began to run down her cheeks. "She's a girl? Really?"

"Absolutely," I struggled to speak coherently. "The most beautiful baby girl in the entire world." I reached down to touch the tiny hand that was pressed against Bella's breast. I gazed in wonder as her fingers instantly curled around mine, and it felt as if my silent heart had suddenly swelled to ten times its normal size.

I was only vaguely aware of Carlisle beside me, clamping the umbilical cord and efficiently delivering the afterbirth. He held out a small pair of scissors, and then raised his eyebrows at my confused expression.

"Fathers always cut the cord, Edward. Don't tell me you didn't know that." I grinned shakily back at him and took the scissors, severing the umbilical cord half an inch from the clamp. Now separated from Bella, I was able to move the baby up closer against Bella's breast. Carlisle covered them both with a blanket, and Bella cuddled her close.

"Oh, Edward," she looked up at me and I brushed away the tears on her cheeks with light fingers. "She's . . . you."

"She's both of us," I whispered. It was true that our daughter had exactly my color hair, and her chin was definitely familiar, but I could see Bella's nose, and her cheek bones. I wondered if she would have my human green eyes, or Bella's chocolate brown ones. As if reading my mind, Bella spoke.

"I hope she has your eyes, Edward. My color would clash with her hair, don't you think?"

"She'll be perfect either way," I told her. "You are absolutely amazing, Bella. I am so proud of you."

"I couldn't have done it without you." The tears overflowed once again as she took my hand and squeezed it weakly. "You never told me you knew how to deliver a baby!"

"I don't!"

"You just did," Bella smiled. "Thank you, Edward. I love you, so much."

I bent down to press my lips warmly against hers, before reaching even further down to kiss my baby daughter on her soft, warm head. Her eyes were wide open, framed by long, beautiful lashes. Already her tiny fist was in her mouth and she was sucking vigorously.

"Bella, would you like to nurse her?" Carlisle spoke softly.

"Um . . . I don't know what to do . . ."

"I can show you, if you like." I watched, fascinated, as Carlisle positioned the baby close to Bella, guiding her searching mouth towards Bella's breast. She gasped, surprised, when the baby attached perfectly and began to suck.

"She's so clever!" she breathed. "She knew exactly what to do!"

Carlisle met my eyes, and we exchanged a smile.

"Congratulations, grandpa," I murmured, and laughed as his smile slowly disappeared. "Sorry, Carlisle, you're going to have to get used to that one."

"Not right now, I don't," he mumbled, and this time Bella joined in my laughter.

Because of Bella's perfect control at that crucial moment, she did not require any stitches. I was stunned when, 30 minutes after Holly Elizabeth Cullen was born, Bella announced that she wanted to take a shower. I opened my mouth to protest but closed it again when Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder.

"That's fine, Bella. Just let me check your blood pressure first – and I need to feel your tummy."

I had had a fixed image in my head (obviously old-fashioned) of Bella spending at least two weeks in bed, with me waiting on her hand and foot. Carlisle must have interpreted my thoughts from the horrified expression on my face, because suddenly he was laughing.

"Edward, really, Bella is not sick – and she's not an invalid. We encourage new mothers now to get up as soon as they feel ready. Here, I'll take my granddaughter while you help Bella to the shower."

He handled the baby expertly as Bella passed her over. I placed my arm around Bella's shoulders and helped her into a sitting position. She shivered suddenly, despite the towels and blankets that Carlisle and I had placed underneath and around her, protecting her from the cold of the bathroom tiles. "Bella, are you sure?"

"Yes," she nodded. "I'm just . . . wait a second . . . just a little dizzy."

"Then you need to rest for longer," I told her firmly. "You lost quite a lot of blood, love. Let me carry you to the bed, and . . ."

"No, Edward, I really want to get cleaned up," she took a deep breath. "Okay, its better now."

Reluctantly, I helped her to stand. She was unsteady on her feet, and I supported her for a moment, anxiously awaiting some color to return to her face. From the bedroom, I could hear Carlisle humming to the baby.

"Just turn the taps on for me, Edward. I'll be fine – go and see Holly."

"I am not leaving you, Bella. I'm staying right here until you're finished." I helped her undress, lifting her top over her head and turning on the hot water. I stayed close whilst she showered, and afterwards walked her slowly to our bed where Carlisle had drawn back the covers. I tucked her in, smiling as her eyes closed almost immediately.

My fingers caressed the wet hair back from her forehead; why was she so pale still? Why was her breathing so shallow and accelerated?

"Edward, stop it." Carlisle's voice was suddenly beside me. It never failed to amaze me just how well he could read my every thought, my every expression. "She's just given birth. She's supposed to look pale and exhausted. She worked very hard." He smiled as he held the baby out to me. She was swaddled in a pale blue blanket, sleeping now, and I took her carefully, holding her upright against my shoulder, my hand automatically rubbing her back gently and soothingly.

"You could have got the color of the blanket right," I frowned at him. "How hard is it, Carlisle?"

He grinned across at me. "Hey, I've only been a grandfather for an hour. Give me a break." His hand clasped my shoulder, tightening for an instant. "You did great, Edward. I'm very proud of you, son."

"Thank you," I whispered, and then pressed my lips to my sleeping daughter's brow. "Bella did it on her own, really. I held her hand – that's all."

"As modest as ever. You're going to make a wonderful doctor, Edward. Especially if you decide to specialize in obstetrics."

I managed a nervous laugh. "Believe me, Carlisle, I am _**never**_ doing that again!"

"What a shame," he sighed heavily. "You have a real talent for it."

I stayed beside Bella as she slept, comforted and soothed by my baby's quick, warm breaths against my neck. Some time soon, I knew it would hit me – the fact that I was a father. A dream from long ago, over 90 years ago, when I had been a seventeen year old boy, desperately longing to become a man and counting the months, the weeks, until I could sign up for active service in World War I. A soldier, a hero – that had been my first goal, and then, a few years down the track, a wife, children . . . All of those dreams had ended catastrophically on a cool September morning in 1918, when I had awoken after three days of intense, burning pain – awoken with no heartbeat . . . no hope . . . no dreams.

Looking back, how had I got through over eight decades of loneliness, desperation . . . nothing. Nothing that mattered, that meant anything . . . until Bella. Until a cold, rainy day in January 2005, when my non-existent existence had turned upside down as my casual, bored glance had reached across a school cafeteria to hers – to her startled, chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that had changed everything – that had changed _**existing **_into _**living.**_

Her shocked, glazed eyes after I had stopped the van from crushing her. The utter happiness and pleasure on her face as I had pressed my ear against her chest, indulging in the sound of her heartbeat, as the serenity of the meadow surrounded us. The confusion, the terror in her eyes as I had left her in the forest behind her house, had walked away from her, my own chest twisting in agony, telling myself it was for the best – the only choice I could possibly live with. And yet, I hadn't. I had lasted eight months. I had already been planning my trip back to Forks when Rosalie had called – that unforgettable telephone call that had sealed our fate. The expression of absolute love and longing on her face when she had crashed into me, under the clock tower in Volterra . . . saving my life. That long, endless night when I had held her close as she cried after saying goodbye to Jacob Black, and to any chance of a normal, healthy, human life. The joy and delight in her smile as she had walked towards me, glorious in white on her father's arm – anxious to become Mrs. Cullen. The warmth of her body beneath mine on the sands of Isle Esme . . . her wide, excited eyes – grabbing my hand and pressing it against her stomach, our baby daughter's first kick making itself known as a faint flutter against my palm . . .

Wonderful, unforgettable memories. An entire lifetime ahead of us to create even more. The future lay ahead – and for the very first time, it was worth living, every moment, every second.

I lay down beside Bella, my cheek against hers, our daughter cuddled between our chests. Six pound, two ounces of amazing, miraculous warmth between us.

We were complete.

The End.


End file.
